Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Peace Quotes, War Quotes

CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

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Youth is Gilead, in which is balm for every wound.

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ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.

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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

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There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang because we must.

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Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient

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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

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Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

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DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.

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TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.

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A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.

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Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.

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A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.

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Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.

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HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.

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MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

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The most offensive egotist is he that fears to say "I" and "me." "It will probably rain" - that is dogmatic. "I think it will rain" - that is natural and modest. Montaigne is the most delightful of essayists because so great is his humility that he does not think it important that we see not Montaigne. He so forgets himself that he employs no artifice to make us forget him.

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Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future; Age knows her as the Dream.

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A penny saved is a penny to squander.

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Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.

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