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  • Mark Twain Quotes   2407
  • There are those who imagine that the unlucky accidents of life—life's "experiences"—are in some way useful to us. I wish I could find out how. I never know one of them to happen twice. They always change off and swap around and catch you on your inexperienced side.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Experience Quotes , Wish Quotes
  • an Autobiography is the truest of all books; for while it inevitably consists mainly of extinctions of the truth, shirkings of the truth, partial revealments of the truth, with hardly an instance of plain straight truth, the remorseless truth is there, between the lines, where the author-cat is raking dust upon it which hides from the disinterested spectator neither it nor its smell... the result being that the reader knows the author in spite of his wily diligences.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Cat Quotes
  • We all know about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Oysters Quotes , Ants Quotes
  • The idea that a baby doesn't amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard full by itself. One baby can, furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Baby Quotes , Ideas Quotes
  • There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Lonely Quotes
  • I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Brain Quotes