Mark Twain Quotes, Railroads Quotes, Benefits Quotes

Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.

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One gains at least two to three times more experience grabbing the tiger by the tail than reading about it in a book.

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Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom.

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The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word.

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Seventy is old enough. After that there is too much risk.

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Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Memories Quotes

I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I always did hate for anyone to know what my plans or hopes or prospects werefor, if I kept people in ignorance in these matters, no one could be disappointed but myself, if they were not realized.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hate Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do. Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base

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I like Joan of Arc best of all my books; and it is the best; I know it perfectly well.

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I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Together Quotes

The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money's sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal. That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse.

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To be great, truly great, you have to be the kind of person who makes the others around you great.

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Why should anybody want to save the human race, or damn it either? Does God want its society? Does Satan?

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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

[Do you worry unnecessarily about the future? Remember most fears are just False Evidence Appearing Real. Don't let unfounded fears rob you of the joys of life or you too will say...] There has been much tragedy in my life; [and] at least half of it actually happened.

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As a thinker and planner the ant is the equal of any savage race of men; as a self-educated specialist in several arts she is the superior of any savage race of men; and in one or two high mental qualities she is above the reach of any man, savage or civilized!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Men Quotes

That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.

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Our Congresses consist of Christians. In their private life they are true to every obligation of honor; yet in every session they violate them all, and do it without shame. Because honor to party is above honor to themselves.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Religious Quotes

Suddenly the nickel-clad horse takes the bit in its mouth and goes slanting for the curbstone defying all prayers and all your powers to change its mind - your heart stands still, your breath hangs fire, your legs forget to work.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Horse Quotes