Mark Twain Quotes

Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.

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There is no security in life, only opportunity.

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I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolute.

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God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country.

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I am as prompt as a clock, if I only know the day a thing is wantedotherwise I am a natural procrastinaturalist.

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The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers and they who are millionaires.

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The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.

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Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.

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Never miss an opportunity to shut up.

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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is "hogwash"

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The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny

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I was armed to the teeth with a pitiful little Smith & Wesson's seven-shooter, which carried a ball like a homopathic pill, and it took the whole seven to make a dose for an adult. But I thought it was grand. It appeared to me to be a dangerous weapon. It had only one fault - you could not hit anything with it.

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Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

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They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.

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Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?

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Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

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It is a good and gentle religion, but inconvenient.

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If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I have noticed that when a man is right down cheerful, he is seldom unhappy for the time being. Such is the nature of man.

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All religions issue bibles again Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.

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We have to be despised by somebody whom we regard as above us, or we are not happy; we have to have somebody to worship and envy,or we cannot be content. In America we manifest this in all the ancient and customary ways. In public we scoff at titles and hereditary privilege, but privately we hanker after them, and when we get a chance we buy them for cash and a daughter.

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