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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Only the shallow know themselves.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.
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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Respect Quotes
- The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes
- What is wrong with the prosaic Englishman is what is wrong with the prosaic men of all countries: stupidity.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes
- He said he didn't very well understand how George was going to sleep any more than he did now, seeing that there were only twenty-four hours in each day.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes
- Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- But the peasants - how do the peasants die?
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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea.
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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes