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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.
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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes
- By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes
- The stupider the peasant, the better the horse understands him.
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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes
- Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes
- Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- The equation for ego is: One over Knowledge.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes