Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

All art is quite useless.

4 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.

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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

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Tags : Plato Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

5 years ago

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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father s. He's more particular. The father is always a Republican towards his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.

4 years ago

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I don't quite recollect how many tumblers of whiskey toddy each man drank after supper; but this I know, that about one o'clock in the morning, the baillie's grown-up son became insensible while attempting the first verse of 'Willie brewed a peck o' maut'; and he having been, for half an hour before, the only other man visible above the mahogany, it occurred to my uncle that it was almost time to think about going.

4 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

A joke is a very serious thing.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

He said he didn't very well understand how George was going to sleep any more than he did now, seeing that there were only twenty-four hours in each day.

4 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is a very dangerous thing to know one’s friends.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes