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  • Funny Quotes   957
  • Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!
    • 4 years ago



    Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes
  • If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
    • 4 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
  • The nephew revenges himself for this, by holding his breath and terrifying his kinswoman with the dread belief that he has made up his mind to burst. Regardless of whispers and shakes, he swells and becomes discoloured, and yet again swells and becomes discoloured, until the aunt can bear it no longer, but leads him out, with no visible neck, and with his eyes going before him like a prawn's.
    • 4 years ago



    Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Revenge Quotes
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