Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Mrs. Boffin, insisting that Bella should make tomorrow's expedition in the chariot, she went home in great grandeur. Mrs. Wilfer and Miss Lavinia had speculated much on the probabilities and improbabilities of her coming in this gorgeous state, and, on beholding the chariot from the window at which they were secreted to look out for it, agreed that it must be detained at the door as long as possible, for the mortification and confusion of the neighbours.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you injure your neighbour, better not do it by halves.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Half Quotes

My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

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Tags : Carl Sagan Quotes , Funny Quotes , Brother Quotes

I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Teeth Quotes

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes

" ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cuttingly, "but I am not a brute."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

There is a foolish corner in the brain of the wisest man.

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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Mr. and Mrs. Boffin sat staring at mid-air, and Mrs. Wilfer sat silently giving them to understand that every breath she drew required to be drawn with a self-denial rarely paralleled in history.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abigail Van Buren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes