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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A sportswriter once referred to him as our future president. With a name like Kevin, I don't know whether that's possible.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nba Quotes
- A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.
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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friends Quotes
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A man and his dog is a sacred relationship. What nature hath put together let no woman put asunder.
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Tags : A. R. Gurney Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.
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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cat Quotes
- The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes
- It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes