Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Funny Quotes, Integrity Quotes

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Integrity Quotes

He would make a lovely corpse.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

A sportswriter once referred to him as our future president. With a name like Kevin, I don't know whether that's possible.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nba Quotes

Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with the pace I'm gonna set except me. There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked.

3 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smart Quotes

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

4 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.

3 years ago

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cycling Quotes

If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of love.

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.

3 years ago

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.

4 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact with the very first rock.

3 years ago

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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.

3 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Forever Quotes

Ones real life is often the life that one does not lead.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes

The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

4 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes