Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.

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In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

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Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.

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No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: he is always convinced that it says what he means.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.

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No sane man will dance.

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For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

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Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

"Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian church, and got herself named Peggotty?"

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

... I had a latent impression that there was something decidedly fine in Mr. Wopsle's elocution - not for old associations' sake, I am afraid, but because it was very slow, very dreary, very up-hill and down-hill, and very unlike any way in which any man in any natural circumstances of life or death ever expressed himself about anything.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Sanity is very rare; every man almost and every woman has a dash of madness.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

A joke is a very serious thing.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.

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Tags : Alan Shearer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Soccer Quotes

Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

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I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

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Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes