Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Money Quotes

The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance.

4 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

4 years ago

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Tags : Edgar Allan Poe Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pain Quotes

Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.

4 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dream Quotes

The great commander, who seemed by expression of his visage to be always on the look-out for something in the extremest distance, and to have no ocular knowledge of anything within ten miles, made no reply whatever.

4 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Distance Quotes

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.

4 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , True Friend Quotes

I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girlfriend Quotes

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

4 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers.

4 years ago

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Tags : Maya Angelou Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

No sane man will dance.

4 years ago

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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

4 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Who is this Baby Ruth? And what does she do?

4 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baseball Quotes

In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.

4 years ago

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

5 years ago

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being always immensely over-educated.

4 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Littles Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously

4 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes