Adam Carolla Quotes, Mystery Quotes, Motto Quotes

My motto is "more mystery, less history".

5 years ago

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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

5 years ago

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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Morning Quotes , Water Quotes

I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Fields Quotes

When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.

5 years ago

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I get depressed at airports.

5 years ago

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The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reading Quotes , Book Quotes

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hate Quotes , Thinking Quotes

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

5 years ago

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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Running Quotes , Car Quotes

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

5 years ago

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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

5 years ago

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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Guy Quotes , Needs Quotes

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nice Quotes , Dirty Quotes

When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Country Quotes , Feet Quotes

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

5 years ago

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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

5 years ago

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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

5 years ago

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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Want Quotes