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  • Adam Carolla Quotes   142
  • My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Kind Quotes
  • When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Country Quotes , Feet Quotes
  • If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes