Adam Carolla Quotes, Comedian Quotes

I'm a comedian, not a politician.

6 years ago

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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

6 years ago

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I know everything because I know nothing.

6 years ago

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I get depressed at airports.

6 years ago

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There are certain things women are better at than men.

6 years ago

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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

6 years ago

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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

6 years ago

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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Leaving Quotes

If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Butterfly Quotes , Beer Quotes

It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

6 years ago

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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.

6 years ago

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Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.

6 years ago

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I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.

6 years ago

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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.

6 years ago

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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Practice Quotes , People Quotes

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show.

6 years ago

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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

6 years ago

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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

6 years ago

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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.

6 years ago

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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Television Quotes , Radio Quotes