Adam Carolla Quotes, Travel Quotes, Knowing Quotes

The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

6 years ago

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When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.

6 years ago

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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.

6 years ago

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I get depressed at airports.

6 years ago

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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

6 years ago

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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

6 years ago

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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

6 years ago

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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Trying Quotes

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

6 years ago

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I know everything because I know nothing.

6 years ago

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That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

6 years ago

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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.

6 years ago

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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

6 years ago

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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

6 years ago

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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Soccer Quotes , Coffee Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

6 years ago

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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Pay Quotes

My motto is "more mystery, less history".

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mystery Quotes , Motto Quotes