Adam Carolla Quotes, Real Quotes, Golf Quotes

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Real Quotes , Golf Quotes

Welfare is monetary methadone.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Welfare Quotes , Methadone Quotes

I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Trying Quotes , World Quotes

People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dream Quotes , People Quotes

I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Laughing Quotes

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Podcasting Quotes , Form Quotes

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

My first car was a motorcycle.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Motorcycle Quotes

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nice Quotes , Dirty Quotes

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes

I am not a good cue card reader.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes

I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Blue Quotes , Guy Quotes

I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes

I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Years Quotes , Age Quotes

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

There are certain things women are better at than men.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Men Quotes

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Horrible Jobs Quotes

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Pie Quotes