• Categories
Location |   Home >> Quotes SMS >> Author Wise Quotes >> Adam Carolla Quotes
  • Adam Carolla Quotes   142
  • As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They're the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math. If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife's side of the bed at night. If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Moving Quotes , Book Quotes
  • This is why the terrorists hate us. And it's not the glitter and it's not the pomp and circumstance. We've got black and white, we've got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball. And the mirror ball doesn't care what color you are, and it doesn't care how rich your parents are, and it doesn't care what God you pray to. It's an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Stars Quotes , Hate Quotes
  • I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe. I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out. So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Thinking Quotes
  • My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Kind Quotes
  • When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Country Quotes , Feet Quotes