Adam Carolla Quotes, Pay Quotes, Taxes Quotes

Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Pay Quotes , Taxes Quotes

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Real Quotes , Golf Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, "Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome."

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes

If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Butterfly Quotes , Beer Quotes

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Media Quotes , Worried Quotes

People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , People Quotes

I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hollywood Quotes , Connections Quotes

If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Museums Quotes , Walking Quotes

I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Trying Quotes , World Quotes

All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Definitions Quotes

I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Ill Will Quotes , Office Quotes

I'd never hurt another person.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hurt Quotes

The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Host Quotes , Compelling Quotes

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Women Quotes

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hate Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Annoyed Quotes , Time Travel Quotes

When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Missing Quotes , Television Quotes