Adam Carolla Quotes, Lazy Quotes

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Lazy Quotes

The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Travel Quotes , Knowing Quotes

I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Eye Quotes , Color Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, "Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome."

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes

Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Nice Quotes

I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Fields Quotes

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes , Use Quotes

I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Years Quotes , Age Quotes

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hate Quotes , Thinking Quotes

People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Stupid Quotes , Successful Quotes

If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Hollywood Quotes

I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Blue Quotes , Guy Quotes

California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Fall Quotes , School Quotes

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Life is just the time between crapping yourself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

I get depressed at airports.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

I don't know anything about computers.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Computer Quotes