Adam Carolla Quotes, Computer Quotes

I don't know anything about computers.

6 years ago

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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

There are certain things women are better at than men.

6 years ago

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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

6 years ago

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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Soccer Quotes , Coffee Quotes

I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Ill Will Quotes , Office Quotes

I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Audience Quotes

I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Night Quotes

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dog Quotes , Good Life Quotes

I'd never hurt another person.

6 years ago

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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Pay Quotes , Taxes Quotes

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Passion Quotes , Office Quotes

Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Bed Quotes , Stuff Quotes

As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They're the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math. If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife's side of the bed at night. If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Moving Quotes , Book Quotes

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

6 years ago

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If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

6 years ago

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If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

6 years ago

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The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reading Quotes , Book Quotes

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes