Adam Carolla Quotes, Basketball Quotes, Brother Quotes

When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Basketball Quotes , Brother Quotes

A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Practice Quotes , People Quotes

Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Women Quotes

Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , School Quotes , College Quotes

I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nuts Quotes , Car Quotes

The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Travel Quotes , Knowing Quotes

People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , People Quotes

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Horrible Jobs Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reason Why Quotes , Reason Quotes

When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes , Use Quotes

There are certain things women are better at than men.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Men Quotes

I am not a good cue card reader.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Army Quotes , Government Quotes

I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Trying Quotes , World Quotes

I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Realist Quotes

I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Night Quotes

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Air Quotes , Stories Quotes

Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Focus Quotes , Saving Quotes

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Book Quotes , Comedian Quotes