Adam Carolla Quotes

I know everything because I know nothing.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Air Quotes , Stories Quotes

Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Pay Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Radio Quotes , Express Yourself Quotes

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Television Quotes , Radio Quotes

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hate Quotes , Thinking Quotes

When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Country Quotes , Feet Quotes

Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Focus Quotes , Saving Quotes

I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Want Quotes

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Real Quotes , Golf Quotes

I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Republican Quotes , Used Quotes

If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Museums Quotes , Walking Quotes

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes

California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Fall Quotes , School Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reason Why Quotes , Reason Quotes

Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Leaving Quotes

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Important Quotes , Ability Quotes

I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Ill Will Quotes , Office Quotes

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smell Quotes , Judging Quotes