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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Gay Quotes , Looks Quotes
- Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Focus Quotes , Saving Quotes
- Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Basketball Quotes
- No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
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- You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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- If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dog Quotes , Good Life Quotes
- I'd never hurt another person.
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- What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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- A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes
- I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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- There are certain things women are better at than men.
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- My first car was a motorcycle.
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- You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes
- People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes
- I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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- I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
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- I am not a good cue card reader.
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- If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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- I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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