Adam Carolla Quotes, Stars Quotes, Hate Quotes

This is why the terrorists hate us. And it's not the glitter and it's not the pomp and circumstance. We've got black and white, we've got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball. And the mirror ball doesn't care what color you are, and it doesn't care how rich your parents are, and it doesn't care what God you pray to. It's an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.

6 years ago

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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Leaving Quotes

People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

6 years ago

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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

6 years ago

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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.

6 years ago

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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

6 years ago

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When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.

6 years ago

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There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheist Quotes

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes , Use Quotes

We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Laughing Quotes

My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.

6 years ago

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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?

6 years ago

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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Should Have Quotes

I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

6 years ago

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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.

6 years ago

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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

6 years ago

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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.

6 years ago

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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Views Quotes , Land Quotes