Adam Carolla Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

6 years ago

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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.

6 years ago

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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

6 years ago

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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

6 years ago

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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

6 years ago

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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.

6 years ago

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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

6 years ago

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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses. I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like - there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Different Quotes , Artistic Quotes

If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.

6 years ago

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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.

6 years ago

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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

6 years ago

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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

6 years ago

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I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.

6 years ago

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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

6 years ago

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The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.

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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

6 years ago

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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

6 years ago

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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

6 years ago

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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.

6 years ago

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We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

6 years ago

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