Adam Carolla Quotes, Ill Will Quotes

I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Ill Will Quotes

I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Strong Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Passion Quotes , Office Quotes

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Want Quotes

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Real Quotes , Golf Quotes

If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

5 years ago

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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Nice Quotes

I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Art Quotes , Reality Quotes

Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They're the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math. If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife's side of the bed at night. If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Moving Quotes , Book Quotes

I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Republican Quotes , Used Quotes

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

5 years ago

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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Average Quotes , Delusional Quotes

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

5 years ago

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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Horrible Jobs Quotes