Adam Carolla Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

6 years ago

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Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.

6 years ago

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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

6 years ago

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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Practice Quotes , People Quotes

The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.

6 years ago

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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.

6 years ago

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You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

6 years ago

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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

6 years ago

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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

6 years ago

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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.

6 years ago

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I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hollywood Quotes , Connections Quotes

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Views Quotes , Land Quotes

I don't know anything about computers.

6 years ago

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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

6 years ago

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I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Men Quotes

Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

6 years ago

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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

6 years ago

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Don’t do your best, do my best.

6 years ago

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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

6 years ago

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It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.

6 years ago

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