Adam Carolla Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

6 years ago

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You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

6 years ago

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All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

6 years ago

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Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

6 years ago

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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.

6 years ago

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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Trying Quotes

I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Audience Quotes

I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses. I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like - there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Different Quotes , Artistic Quotes

I'm a comedian, not a politician.

6 years ago

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That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dream Quotes

I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Running Quotes , Car Quotes

Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

6 years ago

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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

6 years ago

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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

6 years ago

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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

6 years ago

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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

6 years ago

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I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

6 years ago

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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.

6 years ago

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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Host Quotes , Compelling Quotes