Adam Carolla Quotes, Army Quotes, Government Quotes

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Army Quotes , Government Quotes

[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Government Quotes , People Quotes

A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Practice Quotes , People Quotes

I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Trying Quotes , World Quotes

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Important Quotes , Ability Quotes

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Art Quotes

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Passion Quotes , Office Quotes

The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Travel Quotes , Knowing Quotes

I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe. I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out. So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Thinking Quotes

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Horrible Jobs Quotes

I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Want Quotes

Life is just the time between crapping yourself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Trying Quotes

Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , School Quotes , College Quotes

I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Fields Quotes

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Bridges Quotes , Done Quotes

Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Pay Quotes

Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Leaving Quotes