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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes
- The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reason Why Quotes , Reason Quotes
- If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Media Quotes , Worried Quotes
- It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Morning Quotes , Water Quotes
- Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Bed Quotes , Stuff Quotes
- If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Real Quotes , Golf Quotes
- I am not a good cue card reader.
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- It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , July Quotes
- What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hands Quotes , Common Sense Quotes
- I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Trying Quotes , World Quotes
- Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nuts Quotes , Car Quotes
- I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!
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- You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes
- People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Stupid Quotes , Successful Quotes
- When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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- You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes , Use Quotes
- When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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- When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Missing Quotes , Television Quotes