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  • Adam Carolla Quotes   142
  • My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
  • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Kind Quotes
  • The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
  • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Travel Quotes , Knowing Quotes
  • I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show.
  • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes
  • We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
  • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Thinking Quotes
  • In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
  • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nice Quotes , Dirty Quotes