Adam Carolla Quotes, Sports Quotes, Dream Quotes

That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dream Quotes

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Real Quotes , Golf Quotes

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Trying Quotes

Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Average Quotes , Delusional Quotes

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Pie Quotes

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smell Quotes , Judging Quotes

There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheist Quotes

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes

Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Women Quotes

Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Book Quotes , Comedian Quotes

There are certain things women are better at than men.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Men Quotes

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes

I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe. I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out. So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Basketball Quotes

It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Men Quotes , Rich Quotes

I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Guy Quotes , Needs Quotes

Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Sex Quotes

Welfare is monetary methadone.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Welfare Quotes , Methadone Quotes