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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Audience Quotes
- If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Museums Quotes , Walking Quotes
- I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Television Quotes , Radio Quotes
- My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Life Is Quotes
- If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes
- I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Nice Quotes
- I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Host Quotes , Compelling Quotes
- I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Running Quotes , Car Quotes
- There are certain things women are better at than men.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Men Quotes
- When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Should Have Quotes
- You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes , Use Quotes
- I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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- I am not a good cue card reader.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes
- Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Shapes Quotes , Way Quotes
- I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Ill Will Quotes , Office Quotes
- My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Kind Quotes