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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Horrible Jobs Quotes
- I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Soccer Quotes , Coffee Quotes
- I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Annoyed Quotes , Time Travel Quotes
- I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Passion Quotes , Office Quotes
- I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Years Quotes , Age Quotes
- I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nuts Quotes , Car Quotes
- Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Pay Quotes , Taxes Quotes
- My motto is "more mystery, less history".
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mystery Quotes , Motto Quotes
- He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Pie Quotes
- The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Host Quotes , Compelling Quotes
- Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Average Quotes , Delusional Quotes
- Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes
- To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Important Quotes , Ability Quotes
- Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dream Quotes
- Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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