Adam Carolla Quotes, Shapes Quotes, Way Quotes

Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Shapes Quotes , Way Quotes

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dog Quotes , Good Life Quotes

I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

5 years ago

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My first car was a motorcycle.

5 years ago

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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

5 years ago

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If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

5 years ago

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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

5 years ago

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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

5 years ago

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No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

5 years ago

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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, "Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome."

5 years ago

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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

5 years ago

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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

5 years ago

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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

5 years ago

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There are certain things women are better at than men.

5 years ago

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I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.

5 years ago

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I know everything because I know nothing.

5 years ago

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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Joy Quotes

I'd never hurt another person.

5 years ago

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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Night Quotes