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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes
- I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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- I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Men Quotes
- Welfare is monetary methadone.
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- I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Night Quotes
- My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Kind Quotes
- I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Laughing Quotes
- I don't know anything about computers.
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- The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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- You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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- I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Trying Quotes
- I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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- I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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- I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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- I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Soccer Quotes , Coffee Quotes
- I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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- I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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- The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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- Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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- Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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