Adam Carolla Quotes, Bridges Quotes, Done Quotes

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

4 years ago

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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

4 years ago

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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.

4 years ago

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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

4 years ago

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I know everything because I know nothing.

4 years ago

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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

4 years ago

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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

4 years ago

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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

This is why the terrorists hate us. And it's not the glitter and it's not the pomp and circumstance. We've got black and white, we've got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball. And the mirror ball doesn't care what color you are, and it doesn't care how rich your parents are, and it doesn't care what God you pray to. It's an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Stars Quotes , Hate Quotes

Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn't break it down piece by piece, stage by stage. The best gift you can give yourself is some drive--that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates. The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Believe Quotes

Don’t do your best, do my best.

4 years ago

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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

4 years ago

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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

4 years ago

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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

4 years ago

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Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Focus Quotes , Saving Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Joy Quotes

People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

4 years ago

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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Running Quotes , Car Quotes

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes