Adam Carolla Quotes, Smell Quotes, Judging Quotes

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smell Quotes , Judging Quotes

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Television Quotes , Radio Quotes

I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Fields Quotes

Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Gay Quotes , Looks Quotes

There are certain things women are better at than men.

4 years ago

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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Christmas Quotes , Dad Quotes

I'm a comedian, not a politician.

4 years ago

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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Hollywood Quotes

My first car was a motorcycle.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Motorcycle Quotes

If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Butterfly Quotes , Beer Quotes

People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

4 years ago

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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Audience Quotes

I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Laughing Quotes

I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Years Quotes , Age Quotes

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Names Quotes , Feelings Quotes

I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Trying Quotes , World Quotes

I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Men Quotes

Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Pay Quotes

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nice Quotes , Dirty Quotes