Adam Carolla Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

To stimulate creativity one must develop childlike inclination for play and the childlike desire for recognition.

4 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Creativity Quotes , Humor Quotes

The true and lasting genius of humour does not drag you thus to boxes labelled 'pathos,' 'humour,' and show you all the mechanism of the inimitable puppets that are going to perform. How I used to laugh at Simon Tapperwit, and the Wellers, and a host more! But I can't do it now somehow; and time, it seems to me, is the true test of humour. It must be antiseptic.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Laughing Quotes

It is one of the great goals of my administration to invigorate the spirit of involvement and citizenship. We will encourage faith-based and community programs without changing their mission.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Goal Quotes

If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room care, we're going to have gag orders.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Order Quotes

It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Party Quotes , Humor Quotes

Well, I wish some of you would tell me the brand of whiskey that Grant drinks. I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals.

5 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Humor Quotes , Wish Quotes

If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

I don't see how we can allow public dollars to fund programs where spite and hate is the core of the message.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Hate Quotes , Humor Quotes

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Texas Quotes

Let me put it to you this way, I am not a revengeful person.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

We're concerned about AIDS inside our White House, make no mistake about it.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Humor Quotes

We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Believe Quotes , Humor Quotes

Take the life issue. This issue requires a president and an administration leading our nation to understand the importance of life. This whole faith-based initiative really ties into a larger cultural issue that we're working on. It begins to affect the life issue, as well as the human dignity issue, because when you're talking about welcoming people of faith to help people who are disadvantaged and are unable to defend themselves, the logical step is also those babies.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Baby Quotes , Humor Quotes

I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Ambition Quotes , Humor Quotes

I appreciate that question because I, in the state of Texas, had heard a lot of discussion about a faith-based initiative eroding the important bridge between church and state.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Texas Quotes

I don't have to accept their tenants. I was trying to convince those college students to accept my tenants. And I reject any labeling me because I happened to go to the university.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , College Quotes

My pan plays down an unprecedented amount of our national debt.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Play Quotes

Thirdly, the explorationists are willing to only move equipment during the winter, which means they'll be on ice roads, and remove the equipment as the ice begins to melt, so that the fragile tundra is protected.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Moving Quotes , Humor Quotes