Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Funny Quotes, Integrity Quotes

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Integrity Quotes

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

For your popular rumour, unlike the rolling stone of the proverb, is one which gathers a deal of moss in its wanderings up and down.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes