Alan Shearer Quotes, Funny Quotes, Soccer Quotes

I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.

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Tags : Alan Shearer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Soccer Quotes

There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

More and more of our imports are coming from overseas

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I woke up my pop in the middle of the night 'cause the boogie man's under my bed. My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, 'Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man's under the bed!' Pop opens one eye, he's like, 'Is the boogie man bigger than me?' 'Well, no Daddy, he's not.' 'Well, you got your choice: you can deal with the boogie man or you can deal with me.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes