Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Writing Quotes

That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

5 years ago

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?

5 years ago

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , War Quotes

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Hatred is blind, as well as love.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Prayer Quotes

You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes