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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
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- MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.
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- QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.
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- To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.
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- The creator and arbiter of beauty is the heart; to the male rattlesnake the female rattlesnake is the loveliest thing in nature.
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- As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.
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- THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science.
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- MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.
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- He laughs best who laughs least.
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- CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.
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- A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.
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- Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
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- DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away the sins (and sinners) of the world.
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- NOVEL, n. A short story padded.
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- Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.
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- UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.
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- Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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- Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.
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- GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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- Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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