Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Time Quotes, Nature Quotes

PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharaoh the Immune. The plague today . . . is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Nature Quotes

A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Self Quotes

COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own.

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LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.

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PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Leadership Quotes , Men Quotes

Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Religious Quotes

ORATORY, n. A conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. A tyranny tempered by stenography.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Cheating Quotes , Understanding Quotes

CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly desirous of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to obtain.

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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

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Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Simple Quotes

Houseless: Having paid all taxes on household goods.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Taxes Quotes , Goods Quotes

Something that is supposed to typify or stand for something else. Many symbols are mere "survivals" - as funereal urns carved on memorial monuments. We cannot stop making them, but we can give them a name that conceals our helplessness.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Names Quotes , Giving Quotes

pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.

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CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do "me"?

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Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

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TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Force Quotes , Stealth Quotes

SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as... the Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Religious Quotes , Character Quotes

WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ's tenderness towards widows was one of the most marked features of his character.

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Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.

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One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dollars Quotes , Pursuit Quotes