Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Pennies Quotes, Thrift Quotes

A penny saved is a penny to squander.

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PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance... The Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one - the knowledge and the dream.

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HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.

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SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.

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ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.

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MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

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Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.

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J, n. A consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel . . . from a Latin verb, "jacere", "to throw," because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog's tail assumes that shape.

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EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.

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Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.

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diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

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The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.

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Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.

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BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.

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ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.

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Least said is soon disavowed.

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predicament, n. The wage of consistency.

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FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.

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Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.

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