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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- gratitude, n. A sentiment lying midway between a benefit received and a benefit expected.
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- CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
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- RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
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- PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.
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- A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.
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- A miracle is an act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.
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- PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
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- When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
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- RABBLE, n. In a republic, those who exercise a supreme authority tempered by fraudulent elections. The rabble is like the sacred Simurgh, of Arabian fable - omnipotent on condition that it do nothing.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Exercise Quotes , Republic Quotes
- SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
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- DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.
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- Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future; Age knows her as the Dream.
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- ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.
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- self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.
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- NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.
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- INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.
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- For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it.
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- PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
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- ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Latin Quotes
- The sum of religion, says Pythagoras, is to be like him thou worshipest. Had Pythagoras lived in our day he would have seen his mistake. The sum of modern religion is to make him thou worshipest like unto thyself.
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