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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.
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- Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.
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- Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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- According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians.
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- Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
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- An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
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- Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
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- predilection, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.
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- OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.
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- COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.
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- ORTHOGRAPHY, n. The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear.
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- JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.
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- Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.
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- GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These [quills] when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling.
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- A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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- FREEBOOTER, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.
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- PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.
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- CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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- MONSIGNOR- A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.
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- EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.
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