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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.
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- Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
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- Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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- Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.
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- PLAGIARIZE, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.
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- Youth is Gilead, in which is balm for every wound.
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- PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
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- Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
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- ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.
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- MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.
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- Doubt is the father of invention.
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- WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven.
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- Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.
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- An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
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- An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.
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- Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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- MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.
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- Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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- A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.
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- IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral.
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