Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Lexicographer Quotes, Fool Quotes

OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer . . .

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Lexicographer Quotes , Fool Quotes

Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wise Quotes , Fashion Quotes

MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Heart Quotes , Men Quotes

Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Office Quotes

ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself. Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Independent Quotes , Men Quotes

Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Giving Quotes , Advice Quotes

NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Leadership Quotes , School Quotes

PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Blood Quotes

Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Growth Quotes , Definitions Quotes

HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Spiritual Quotes , Science Quotes

GNU, n. An animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its wild condition it is something like a thunderbolt, an earthquake and a cyclone.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Horse Quotes , Animal Quotes

LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Law Quotes

Damning, with bell, book and candle / Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal. / A rite permitting Satan to enslave him / Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Book Quotes , Forever Quotes

CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly appear; everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dog Quotes , Doe Quotes

Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Laughter Quotes , Noise Quotes

LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Writing Quotes , Light Quotes