Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Hope Quotes, Military Quotes

PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

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Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

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Botany, n. The science of vegetables - those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are. It deals largely with their flowers, which are commonly badly designed, inartistic in color, and ill-smelling.

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TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.

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JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.

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WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven.

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Glutton- A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia.

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BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to be something from the man who wishes to do something. A man of great wealth, or one who has been pitchforked into high station, has commonly such a headful of brain that his neighbors cannot keep their hats on. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, brain is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

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NIRVANA- In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it.

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APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.

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Slang is a foul pool at which every dunce fills his bucket, and then sets up as a fountain.

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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

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MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

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Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

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RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.

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HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

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