Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Sorrow Quotes, Accepting Quotes

Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.

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MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

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Monsieur Franqulin, inventor of electricity. This illustrious savant, after having made several voyages around the world, died on the Sandwich Islands and was devoured by savages, of whom not a single fragment was ever recovered.

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Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

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Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.

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QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the U.S. Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House.

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MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.

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Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.

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SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.

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VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.

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PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

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Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.

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Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

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Past, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance. A moving line called the Present parts it from an imaginary period known as the Future. These two grand divisions of Eternity, of which the one is continually effacing the other, are entirely unlike. The one is dark with sorrow and disappointment, the other bright with prosperity and joy.... Yet the Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one-the knowledge and the dream.

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The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.

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RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.

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