Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Art Quotes, Magic Quotes

Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.

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BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Etna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Block Quotes , Wine Quotes

FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.

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INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity.

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Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.

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UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.

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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

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Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient

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Immoral" is the judgment of the stalled ox on the gamboling lamb.

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Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.

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LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

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You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.

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When in Rome, do as Rome does.

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OUTCOME, n. A particular type of disappointment . . . . judged by the outcome, the result. This is immortal nonsense; the wisdom of an act is to be juded by the light that the doer had when he performed it.

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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Evil Quotes , Political Quotes