Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Drinking Quotes

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Motivational Quotes , Drinking Quotes

GNU, n. An animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its wild condition it is something like a thunderbolt, an earthquake and a cyclone.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Horse Quotes , Animal Quotes

Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Neighbor Quotes

FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Science Quotes

ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is pleased to fancy it resembles the candid simplicity of his young.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Practice Quotes , Long Quotes

Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Gentleman Quotes , Pockets Quotes

WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ's tenderness towards widows was one of the most marked features of his character.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Christian Quotes , Character Quotes

I was born to poor because of honest parents.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Parent Quotes , Honest Quotes

RAREBIT n. A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and that riz-de-veau à la financière is not the smile of a calf prepared after the recipe of a she banker.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

predicament, n. The wage of consistency.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Consistency Quotes , Habit Quotes

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Distance Quotes , Technology Quotes

renown, n. A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame - a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hands Quotes , Littles Quotes

When among the graves of thy fellows, walk with circumspection; thine own is open at thy feet.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Feet Quotes

COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mind Quotes , Comfort Quotes

ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Temptation Quotes

PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hope Quotes , Military Quotes