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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
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- ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .
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- TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own.
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- MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.
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- Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.
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- SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians.
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- RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
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- I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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- To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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- INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.
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- me, pro. The objectionable case of I. The personal pronoun in English has three cases, the dominative, the objectionable and the oppressive. Each is all three.
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- Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.
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- DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.
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- Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
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- Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.
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- Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.
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