Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Exercise Quotes, Intellectual Quotes

PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

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ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.

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Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure

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GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.

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THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science.

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LOGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.

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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

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ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.

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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. "What!" said one of his disciples, "you weep at the death of an enemy?" "Ah, 'tis true," replied the great Stoic; "but you should see me smile at the death of a friend.".

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Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.

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Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

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MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

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HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old- fashioned sea-captains.

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TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.

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Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

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MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman.

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