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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976

UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.

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MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.

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Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

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Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

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Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

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MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

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Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.

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Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

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Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.

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DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

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REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.

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Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.

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LEGACY, n. A gift from one who is legging it out of this vale of tears.

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Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests.

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HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.

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POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others.

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