Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Life Quotes, Simple Quotes

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Simple Quotes

You can effect a change of robbers every four years. Inestimable privilege - to pull off the glutted leech and attach the lean one! And you can not even choose among the lean leeches, but must accept those designated by the programmers and showmen who have the reptiles on tap!

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Years Quotes , Leeches Quotes

EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom.

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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Morning Quotes , Sleep Quotes

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Cute Quotes

PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance... The Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one - the knowledge and the dream.

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CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Science Quotes

HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Art Quotes , Color Quotes

RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Religious Quotes , Oil Quotes

Liberty is one of the imagination's most precious possessions.

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Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.

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EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.

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The ghost is the outward and visible signs of an inward fear.

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PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Philosophy Quotes

Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Medicine Quotes