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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.
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- A revolution is a violent change of mismanagement.
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- Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.
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- I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.
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- WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven.
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- REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.
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- CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly appear; everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance.
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- ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
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- Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
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- Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.
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- If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.
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- MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.
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- Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.
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- SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
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- PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.
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- COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.
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