Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Life Quotes, God Quotes

Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

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Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire

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MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Light Quotes

The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon.

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PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.

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Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Coward Quotes , Human Nature Quotes

LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used ... as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

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Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

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I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fear Quotes , Heart Quotes

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

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Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Musical Quotes , Assassins Quotes

SEINE, n. A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Change Quotes , Strong Quotes

Fear has no brains; it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated.

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Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Powerful Quotes , Hatred Quotes