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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Homicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he died by one kind or another - the classification is for the advantage of the lawyers.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Suicide Quotes
- Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.
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- PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.
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- Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.
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- Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has ever read into the pages of the Bible.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Christian Quotes , Doors Quotes
- The ghost is the outward and visible signs of an inward fear.
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- Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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- A lottery is a tax on stupidity.
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- PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed . . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.
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- REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
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- A revolution is a violent change of mismanagement.
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- OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe . . . . The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.
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- Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting
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- An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.
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- Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.
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- INFALAPSARIAN, n. One who ventures to believe that Adam need not have sinned unless he had a mind to - in opposition to the Supralapsarians, who hold that that luckless person's fall was decreed from the beginning.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Believe Quotes , Fall Quotes