Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Men Quotes, Feelings Quotes

Contempt; the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

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Salamander: Originally a reptile inhabiting fire; later, an anthropomorphous immortal, but still a pyrophile. Salamanders are now believed to be extinct, the last one of which we have an account having been seen in Carcassonne by the Abbe Belloc, who exorcised it with a bucket of holy water.

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An archbishop is an ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

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Don't board with the devil if you wish to be fat.

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POTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific-and without science we are as the snakes and toads.

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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

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FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.

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PLUNDER, v. To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanishing opportunity.

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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

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PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.

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Coronation: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.

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MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

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PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

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IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment.

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PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

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Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.

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