Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Liars Quotes, Science Quotes

IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

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Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

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WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

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Mad; adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane.

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The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon.

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The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

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The god of the world's leading religion.

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Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

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Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

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FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.

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SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians.

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PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.

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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

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Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.

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INCOMPOSSIBLE, adj. Unable to exist if something else exists. Two things are incompossible when the world of being has scope enough for one of them, but not enough for both - as Walt Whitman's poetry and God's mercy to man.

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ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.

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