Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Distance Quotes, Technology Quotes

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

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CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.

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RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries . .

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ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.

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DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.

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Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.

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Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.

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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

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When you doubt, abstain.

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PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.

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A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.

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A short story padded. A species of composition bearing the same relation to literature that the panorama bears to art. As it is too long to be read at a sitting the impressions made by its successive parts are successively effaced, as in the pa

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PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.

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Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command

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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

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Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

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