Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Love Quotes, Funny Quotes

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Land Quotes , Foundation Quotes

True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Doe Quotes

RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Differences Quotes , Indifference Quotes

A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.

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That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity

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HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old- fashioned sea-captains.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , West Indies Quotes

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Hands Quotes

PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.

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To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.

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DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.

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HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

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Immoral: Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral. If mans notions of right and wrong have any other basis than this of expediency; if they originated, or could have originated, in any other way; if actions have in themselves a moral character apart from and nowise dependent on, their consequences-then all philosophy is a lie and reason a disorder of the mind.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Running Quotes , Lying Quotes

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Alcohol Quotes

When you doubt, abstain.

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adore, v.t. To venerate expectantly.

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