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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976

A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.

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General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

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OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.

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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

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International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoldering one

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There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang because we must.

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MONOSYLLABIC, adj. Composed of words of one syllable . . . Commonly Saxon - that is to say, words of a barbarous people destitute of ideas and incapable of any but the most elementary sentiments and emotions.

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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

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Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".

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Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.

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Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

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PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed . . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.

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If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.

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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

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JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.

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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

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