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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976

CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

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Alligator: The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World.

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A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.

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ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . ."

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Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

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OUTCOME, n. A particular type of disappointment . . . . judged by the outcome, the result. This is immortal nonsense; the wisdom of an act is to be juded by the light that the doer had when he performed it.

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OBSTINATE, adj. Inaccessible to the truth as it is manifest in the splendor and stress of our advocacy.

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DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if awkwardly performed . . . deplorable consequences sometimes ensue. A long time ago a man lost his life.

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COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

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Snow pursued by the wind is not wholly unlike a retreating army. In the open field it ranges itself in ranks and battalions; where it can get a foothold it makes a stand; where it can take cover it does so. You may see whole platoons of snow cowering behind a bit of broken wall.

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If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.

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Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

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Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

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CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.

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REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned . . . . whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.

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