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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Phoenix, n. The classical prototype of the modern 'small hot bird.'
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- Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
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- Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.
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- ADAGE, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth.
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- A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.
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- To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.
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- Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
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- RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.
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- It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
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- Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.
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- DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which that wicked writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, infers that the ladies are the greater sufferers from dyspepsia.
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- YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.
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- SPOOKER, n. A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially in the doings of spooks.
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- Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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- REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work upon a book, and so read out of it/ The qualities that you have first read into it.
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- ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.
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