Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Imagination Quotes, Concern Quotes

SPOOKER, n. A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially in the doings of spooks.

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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.

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Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Horse Quotes , Animal Quotes

PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.

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HATRED, n. A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.

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LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose; without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg "pate".

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Nature Quotes , Bird Quotes

There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.

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Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dance Quotes , Daughter Quotes

RAREBIT n. A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and that riz-de-veau à la financière is not the smile of a calf prepared after the recipe of a she banker.

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ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.

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IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

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To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.

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REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.

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TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.

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An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

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MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines, who believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking. Herod of Judea, all the famous soldiers have been practical exponents of the Malthusian idea.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Talking Quotes , Ideas Quotes