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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."
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- Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.
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- Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
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- Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.
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- OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
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- Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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- A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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- JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.
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- DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters.
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- JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.
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- Doubt is the father of invention.
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- Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.
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- picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
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- YOUTH, n. The Period of Possibility, when Archimedes finds a fulcrum, Cassandra has a following and seven cities compete for the honor of endowing a living Homer.
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- PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
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- SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
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