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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.
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- RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.
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- NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker.
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- A less popular name for the Second Person of that delectable newspaper Trinity, the Roomer, the Bedder, and the Mealer.
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- SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a newspaper or magazine.
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- Youth is Gilead, in which is balm for every wound.
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- A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.
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- NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.
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- To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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- VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
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- EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
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- PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.
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- PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
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- The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.
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- SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
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- CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.
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