Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Life Quotes, Journey Quotes

Along the road of life are many pleasure resorts, but think not that by tarrying in them you will take more days to the journey. The day of your arrival is already recorded.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Journey Quotes

Die: To stop sinning suddenly.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dies Quotes

SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Logic Quotes

RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Maids Quotes , Ruins Quotes

HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Animal Quotes

ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself. Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Independent Quotes , Men Quotes

DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Pulse Quotes

Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Yield Quotes , Political Quotes

You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Christian Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver. As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet Swims round and round his tank to find an outlet, Pressing his nose against the glass that holds him, Nor ever sees the prison that enfolds him; So the poor debtor, seeing naught around him, Yet feels the narrow limits that impound him, Grieves at his debt and studies to evade it, And finds at last he might as well have paid it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Grieving Quotes , Glasses Quotes

REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Art Quotes , Nature Quotes

Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Departed Quotes , Platitudes Quotes

Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Truth Quotes , Common Sense Quotes

BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Baby Quotes , Sex Quotes

CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch of differentiation, and who followed the primitive economic maxim, "Every man his own horse."

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Horse Quotes