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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Nature Quotes , Science Quotes
- To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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- LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , War Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes
- Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Children Quotes , Maturity Quotes
- RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.
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- alone, adj. In bad company.
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- SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.
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- ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.
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- UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Power Quotes
- PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.
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- VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
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- RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.
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- ZIGZAG, v.t. To move forward uncertainly, from side to side, as one carrying the white man's burden.
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- RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.
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- The wife, or bitter half.
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- Finance is the art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager
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