Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Example Quotes

Example is better than following it.

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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

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NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning - which is a phenomenon.

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COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own.

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WITCH, n. (1) Any ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil.

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An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.

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LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers - particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.

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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

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Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.

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Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.

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HOG, n. A bird remarkable for the catholicity of its appetite and serving to illustrate that of ours. Among the Mahometans and Jews, the hog is not in favor as an article of diet, but is respected for the delicacy and the melody of its voice. It is chiefly as a songster that the fowl is esteemed; the cage of him in full chorus has been known to draw tears from two persons at once. The scientific name of this dicky-bird is _Porcus Rockefelleri_. Mr. Rockefeller did not discover the hog, but it is considered his by right of resemblance.

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MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

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In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.

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Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.

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OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.

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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

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