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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Think twice before you speak to a friend in need
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- JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.
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- PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
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- Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".
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- LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.
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- TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.
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- Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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- ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.
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- GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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- COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own.
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- Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests.
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- RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.
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- Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting
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- LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
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- Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.
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- TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.
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