Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Order Quotes, White Quotes

Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are of the Ramshackle order, though some of our earlier architects preferred the Ironic. Recent additions to the White House in Washington are Theo-Doric, the ecclesiastic order of the Dorians. They are exceedingly fine and cost one hundred dollars a brick.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Order Quotes , White Quotes

While you have a future do not live too much in contemplation of your past: unless you are content to walk backward the mirror is a poor guide.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Past Quotes , Mirrors Quotes

NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Leadership Quotes , Kindness Quotes

ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mother Quotes , Kings Quotes

Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Speech Quotes , Way Quotes

CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Lying Quotes , Writing Quotes

REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Republic Quotes , Obedience Quotes

BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters - the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably; a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Writing Quotes

OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer . . .

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Lexicographer Quotes , Fool Quotes

PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.

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Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Rome Quotes , Two Quotes

ORATORY, n. A conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. A tyranny tempered by stenography.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Cheating Quotes , Understanding Quotes

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

FREEBOOTER, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Business Quotes , Way Quotes

ZANY, n. A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the _buffone_, or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play. The zany was progenitor to the specialist in humor, as we to-day have the unhappiness to know him. In the zany we see an example of creation; in the humorist, of transmission. Another excellent specimen of the modern zany is the curate, who apes the rector, who apes the bishop, who apes the archbishop, who apes the devil.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Character Quotes , Italian Quotes

Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Law Quotes , Justice Quotes