Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Marriage Quotes, Taste Quotes

Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

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ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.

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RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.

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RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.

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UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.

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DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.

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OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession; it meant "own," and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Confusion Quotes , Confusing Quotes

DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.

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True, more than a half of the green graves in the Grafton cemetery are marked "Unknown," and sometimes it occurs that one thinks of the contradiction involved in "honoring the memory" of him of whom no memory remains to honor; but the attempt seems to do no great harm to the living, even to the logical.

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NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

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prospect, n. An outlook, usually forbidding. An expectation, usually forbidden.

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Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

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Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.

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To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.

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SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a newspaper or magazine.

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To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

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