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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976

R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of "requiescat in pace", attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than "reductus in pulvis".

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PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.

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The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own; you are permitted only to wish to be another.

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Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding.

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Men who expect universal peace through invention of destructive weapons of war are no wiser than one who, noting the improvement of agricultural implements, should prophesy an end to the tilling of the soil.

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Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.

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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

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A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.

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Achievement; the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

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Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future; Age knows her as the Dream.

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KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

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Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic

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The best kind of onion soup is the simplest kind.

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OPERA, n. A play representing life in another world, whose inhabitants have no speech but song, no motions but gestures and no postures but attitudes.

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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

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Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

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