Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Expression Quotes, Land Quotes

POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.

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The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

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General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Laughter Quotes , Noise Quotes

CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Two Quotes

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.

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MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

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CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.

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Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.

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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.

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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

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PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Politics Quotes , Lectures Quotes

ACCOMPLICE, n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney's position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.

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Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

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CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

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Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Neighbor Quotes