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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Nonsense, n. The objections that are urged against this excellent dictionary.
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- RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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- FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.
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- ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is pleased to fancy it resembles the candid simplicity of his young.
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- RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.
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- A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.
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- A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
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- A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
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- Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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- Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.
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- INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.
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- DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.
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- EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,/ Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:/ From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge/ Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: "O fudge!"
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- CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
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- Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.
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- An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.
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