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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976

DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters.

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A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition.

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mine, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.

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CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.

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OBLIVION, n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame's eternal dumping ground.

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Habit: A shackle for the free.

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SPOOKER, n. A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially in the doings of spooks.

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Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

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PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.

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Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

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The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.

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RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.

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UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.

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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.

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Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

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TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own.

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