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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

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Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code of military etiquette silence and fixity are forms of deference

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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

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PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.

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Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss".

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There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.

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PERIPATETIC, adj. Walking about. Relating to the philosophy of Aristotle, who, while expounding it, moved from place to place in order to avoid his pupil's objections. A needless precaution - they knew no more of the matter than he.

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Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.

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RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

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A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves. He is like the lower end of a suspended chain; you can sway him slightly to the right or the left, but remove your hand and he falls into line with the other links.

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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

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EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.

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REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.

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diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

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Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.

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