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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
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- Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
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- One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.
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- EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
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- A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.
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- PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.
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- POSITIVISM- A philosophy that denies our knowledge of the Real and affirms our ignorance of the Apparent. Its longest exponent is Comte, its broadest Mill and its thickest Spencer.
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- MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.
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- Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.
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- applause, n. The echo of a platitude.
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- Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".
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- Noise: a stench in the ear.
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- God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
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- A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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- FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.
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- PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
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