Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Drinking Quotes, Medicine Quotes

Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Medicine Quotes

PRISON, n. A place of punishments and rewards. The poet assures us that - stone walls do not a prison make.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wall Quotes , Punishment Quotes

Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Gentleman Quotes , Affliction Quotes

Don't board with the devil if you wish to be fat.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wish Quotes , Devil Quotes

Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Taste Quotes

A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Soul Quotes , Atheism Quotes

EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Disease Quotes , Poverty Quotes

REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. . . . the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Change Quotes , Happiness Quotes

PLAGIARIZE, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes

ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Voting Quotes

PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Unexpected Quotes , Persons Quotes

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

Idiot - A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fashion Quotes , Powerful Quotes

DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver. As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet Swims round and round his tank to find an outlet, Pressing his nose against the glass that holds him, Nor ever sees the prison that enfolds him; So the poor debtor, seeing naught around him, Yet feels the narrow limits that impound him, Grieves at his debt and studies to evade it, And finds at last he might as well have paid it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Grieving Quotes , Glasses Quotes

Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Baby Quotes , Holy Water Quotes

The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator in accomplishing the feat of a parrot. A means (under Providence) of setting up as a wit without a capital of sense.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mean Quotes , Pride Quotes