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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976

Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

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OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

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GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted.

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To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.

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RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.

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Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.

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Rhubarb: essence of stomach ache.

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REPLICA, n. A reproduction of a work of art, by the artist that made the original. It is so called to distinguish it from a "copy," which is made by another artist. When the two are mae with equal skill the replica is the more valuable, for it is suppose

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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.

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PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.

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Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

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PHYSIOGNOMY, n. The art of determining the character of another by the resemblances and differences between his face and our own, which is the standard of excellence.

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LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.

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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.

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TENACITY, n. A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest development in the hand of authority and is considered a serviceable equipment for a career in politics.

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