Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Clever Quotes, Inspiration Quotes

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.

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Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

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I was born to poor because of honest parents.

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Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

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PESSIMISM- philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.

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Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

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There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang because we must.

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REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.

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Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

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WEATHER, n. The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the rude forefathers of the jungle.

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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

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Alligator: The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World.

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Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

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New York is too strenuous for me; it gets on my nerves.

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NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

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A penny saved is a penny to squander.

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