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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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- Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.
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- One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.
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- A statesman who shakes the fruit trees of his neighbors - to dislodge the worms.
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- To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.
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- HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old- fashioned sea-captains.
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- Salamander: Originally a reptile inhabiting fire; later, an anthropomorphous immortal, but still a pyrophile. Salamanders are now believed to be extinct, the last one of which we have an account having been seen in Carcassonne by the Abbe Belloc, who exorcised it with a bucket of holy water.
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- CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.
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- Nonsense, n. The objections that are urged against this excellent dictionary.
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- Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
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- CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch of differentiation, and who followed the primitive economic maxim, "Every man his own horse."
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- MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.
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- PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
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- VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
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- Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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- RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.
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