Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Country Quotes, Men Quotes

Miss, n. A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to Mh.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Men Quotes

R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of "requiescat in pace", attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than "reductus in pulvis".

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Learning Quotes , Drs Quotes

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

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predilection, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.

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Habit: A shackle for the free.

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Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.

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A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Giving Quotes , Peculiar Quotes

Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

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art, n. This word has no definition.

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TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.

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REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted.

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Houseless: Having paid all taxes on household goods.

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A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Office Quotes

PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Tools Quotes

A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Writing Quotes