Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Political Quotes, Progress Quotes

DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment.

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Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

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NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

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The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon.

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Riven and torn with cannon-shot, the trunks of the trees protruded bunches of splinters like hands, the fingers above the wound interlacing with those below.

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Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.

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HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.

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Salamander: Originally a reptile inhabiting fire; later, an anthropomorphous immortal, but still a pyrophile. Salamanders are now believed to be extinct, the last one of which we have an account having been seen in Carcassonne by the Abbe Belloc, who exorcised it with a bucket of holy water.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.

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self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.

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Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

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Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

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AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.

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GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird's intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling. The difference in geese, as discovered by this ingenious method, is considerable: many are found to have only trivial and insignificant powers, but some are seen to be very great geese indeed.

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RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.

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Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.

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