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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- The covers of this book are too far apart.
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- No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.
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- Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
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- MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.
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- An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.
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- RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.
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- FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.
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- Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'
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- Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
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- EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.
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- The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
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- All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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- MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.
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- REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience.
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- A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood of awful examples.
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- Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.
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