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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976

Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

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TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect ("Glossina morsitans") whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist ("Mendax interminabilis").

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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

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CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do "me"?

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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

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Snow pursued by the wind is not wholly unlike a retreating army. In the open field it ranges itself in ranks and battalions; where it can get a foothold it makes a stand; where it can take cover it does so. You may see whole platoons of snow cowering behind a bit of broken wall.

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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

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ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.

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Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

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FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

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Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

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URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, "I beg your pardon," and it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others.

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OPERA, n. A play representing life in another world, whose inhabitants have no speech but song, no motions but gestures and no postures but attitudes.

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RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.

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INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.

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