Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Courage Quotes, Military Quotes

PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous.

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An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

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URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, "I beg your pardon," and it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others.

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MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.

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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

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Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.

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The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

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Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

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Idiot - A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.

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GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists. The former would not go into the caucus and the combination failed, greatly to the chagrin of the fusion managers.

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Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.

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Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.

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When in Rome, do as Rome does.

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mine, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.

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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

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QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the U.S. Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House.

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