Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Kindness Quotes, Waste Quotes

LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."

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Justice is a commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.

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SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Eggs Quotes , Giving Quotes

Monsieur Franqulin, inventor of electricity. This illustrious savant, after having made several voyages around the world, died on the Sandwich Islands and was devoured by savages, of whom not a single fragment was ever recovered.

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Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

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DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away the sins (and sinners) of the world.

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Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

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CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch of differentiation, and who followed the primitive economic maxim, "Every man his own horse."

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Learning -the kind of ignorance affected by (and affecting) civilized races, as distinguished from ignorance, the sort of learning incurred by savages. See nonsense.

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NOVEL, n. A short story padded.

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Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.

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A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.

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EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.

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You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.

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CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.

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Immoral: Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral. If mans notions of right and wrong have any other basis than this of expediency; if they originated, or could have originated, in any other way; if actions have in themselves a moral character apart from and nowise dependent on, their consequences-then all philosophy is a lie and reason a disorder of the mind.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Running Quotes , Lying Quotes