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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976

Finance is the art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager

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LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.

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WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven.

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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

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JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.

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Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.

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HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

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PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.

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Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.

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HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.

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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

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Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it is the first.

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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

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Hope is an explorer who surveys the country ahead. That is why we know so much about the Hereafter and so little about the Heretofore.

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ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.

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PILGRIM, n. A traveler that is taken seriously. A Pilgrim Father was one who [was] not permitted to sing psalms through his nose [in Europe], followed it to Massachusetts, where he could personate God according to the dictates of his conscience.

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