Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Science Quotes, Astronomers Quotes

OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Astronomers Quotes

At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , War Quotes , Savages Quotes

HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Night Quotes , Doe Quotes

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Party Quotes , Grandmother Quotes

Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Writing Quotes

DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver. As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet Swims round and round his tank to find an outlet, Pressing his nose against the glass that holds him, Nor ever sees the prison that enfolds him; So the poor debtor, seeing naught around him, Yet feels the narrow limits that impound him, Grieves at his debt and studies to evade it, And finds at last he might as well have paid it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Grieving Quotes , Glasses Quotes

PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Clothes Quotes

K, n. A consonant; originally precisely that of our H, but altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of [one of two lofty columns in] the great temple of Jarute.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Shapes Quotes

PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Noise Quotes

He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Believe Quotes , Thinking Quotes

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Truth Quotes , Stories Quotes

COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Power Quotes , Compulsion Quotes

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Queens Quotes

Something that is supposed to typify or stand for something else. Many symbols are mere "survivals" - as funereal urns carved on memorial monuments. We cannot stop making them, but we can give them a name that conceals our helplessness.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Names Quotes , Giving Quotes