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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- aim, n. The task we set our wishes to.
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- MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.
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- OVATION, n. n ancient Rome, a definite, formal pageant in honor of one who had been disserviceable to the enemies of the nation. A lesser "triumph."
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- RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
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- A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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- STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.
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- SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
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- Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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- PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
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- WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.
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- EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.
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- Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.
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- Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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- OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession; it meant "own," and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.
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- gratitude, n. A sentiment lying midway between a benefit received and a benefit expected.
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- Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
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