Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Tree Quotes, Fruit Quotes

A statesman who shakes the fruit trees of his neighbors - to dislodge the worms.

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PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.

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Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

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LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.

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PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.

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Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fear Quotes , Dwelling Quotes

SARCOPHAGUS, n. Among the Greeks a coffin which being made of a certain kind of carnivorous stone, had the peculiar property of devouring the body placed in it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Greek Quotes

INFALAPSARIAN, n. One who ventures to believe that Adam need not have sinned unless he had a mind to - in opposition to the Supralapsarians, who hold that that luckless person's fall was decreed from the beginning.

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REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.

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LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The sentiments and emotions which every literary anatomist now knows to haunt the heart were anciently believed to infest the liver; and even Gascoygne, speaking of the emotional side of human nature, calls it "our hepaticall parte." It was at one time considered the seat of life; hence its name- liver, the thing we live with.

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Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

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There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only.

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Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

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Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code of military etiquette silence and fixity are forms of deference

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Military Quotes , Silence Quotes

IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Sitting Quotes