Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Change Quotes, Happiness Quotes

REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. . . . the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch.

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FLAG, n. A colored rag borne above troops and hoisted on forts and ships. It appears to serve the same purpose as certain signs that one sees and vacant lots in London

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HIBERNATE, v. i. To pass the winter season in domestic seclusion. There have been many singular popular notions about the hibernation of various animals. Many believe that the bear hibernates during the whole winter and subsists by mechanically sucking its paws. It is admitted that it comes out of its retirement in the spring so lean that it has to try twice before it can cast a shadow.

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Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command

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Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.

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Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.

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IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.

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PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

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RABBLE, n. In a republic, those who exercise a supreme authority tempered by fraudulent elections. The rabble is like the sacred Simurgh, of Arabian fable - omnipotent on condition that it do nothing.

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PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous.

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AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.

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UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.

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moral, adj. Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.

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Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

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TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.

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adore, v.t. To venerate expectantly.

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