Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Stars Quotes, Responsibility Quotes

Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Stars Quotes , Responsibility Quotes

ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Long Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

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PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.

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PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

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Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are of the Ramshackle order, though some of our earlier architects preferred the Ironic. Recent additions to the White House in Washington are Theo-Doric, the ecclesiastic order of the Dorians. They are exceedingly fine and cost one hundred dollars a brick.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Order Quotes , White Quotes

DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters.

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Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

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MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

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It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Smell Quotes

Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hands Quotes , Skills Quotes

Strive not for singularity in dress; Fools have the more and men of sense the less. To look original is not worth while, But be in mind a little out of style.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Mind Quotes

Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

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Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.

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CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch of differentiation, and who followed the primitive economic maxim, "Every man his own horse."

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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes