Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Funny Quotes, Hope Quotes

Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hope Quotes

DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fear Quotes , Generosity Quotes

Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Book Quotes , Dust Quotes

diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Country Quotes

MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Clothes Quotes

The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Skins Quotes , Foxes Quotes

ACCOMPLICE, n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney's position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Views Quotes , Knowing Quotes

TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Temptation Quotes , Purpose Quotes

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Wine Quotes

Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has ever read into the pages of the Bible.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Christian Quotes , Doors Quotes

EFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other-which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of the dog.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dog Quotes , Science Quotes

Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Friendship Quotes , Enough Quotes

Contempt; the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Feelings Quotes

PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Pain Quotes , Mind Quotes

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Musical Quotes , Assassins Quotes

DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number - just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Intelligent Quotes , Numbers Quotes