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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.
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- One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.
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- ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof against bad-egging and dead-catting.
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- REFUSAL, n. Denial of something desired; Refusals are graded in a descending scale of finality thus: the refusal absolute, the refusal condition, the refusal tentative and the refusal feminine. The last is called by some casuists the refusal assentive.
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- Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
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- Every heart is the lair of a ferocious animal. The greatest wrong that you can put upon a man is to provoke him to let out his beast.
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- PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.
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- A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.
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- War: A by-product of the arts of peace.
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- Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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- LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper . . . the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species.
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- The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
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- A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
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- LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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- Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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- PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.
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- To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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- A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.
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- INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.
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- In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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