Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Life Quotes, Spiritual Quotes

Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Spiritual Quotes

ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dog Quotes , Gold Quotes

RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries . .

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Virtue Quotes

PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Views Quotes , Editors Quotes

Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes

MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Art Quotes , Names Quotes

Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code of military etiquette silence and fixity are forms of deference

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Military Quotes , Silence Quotes

PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Photography Quotes , Art Quotes

HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hands Quotes , Pockets Quotes

When you doubt, abstain.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Religious Quotes , Tolerance Quotes

SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Ninety Nine Quotes

GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Machines Quotes

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Disappointment Quotes , Opportunity Quotes

GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Agency Quotes , Civilized Nations Quotes

An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wine Quotes , Lips Quotes

Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]: To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of error in an opponent.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Errors Quotes , Brain Quotes

It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Change Quotes , Feel Better Quotes

Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Disappointment Quotes , Years Quotes

DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fashion Quotes , Men Quotes