Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Science Quotes, Imperfection Quotes

DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which that wicked writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, infers that the ladies are the greater sufferers from dyspepsia.

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If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.

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predilection, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.

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No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.

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CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly appear; everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance.

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plagiarism, n. A literary coincidence compounded of a discreditable priority and an honorable subsequence.

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AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.

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As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. The judges' decisions based on it were sound in logic and in law. Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death. If there were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute of value.

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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

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KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

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INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Justice Quotes

K, n. A consonant; originally precisely that of our H, but altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of [one of two lofty columns in] the great temple of Jarute.

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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.

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In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.

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If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.

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WITCH, n. (1) Any ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil.

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Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.

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An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.

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Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Passion Quotes , Soul Quotes

PLUNDER, v. To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanishing opportunity.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Vanishing Quotes