Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Adversity Quotes, Evil Quotes

When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.

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PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Pockets Quotes

PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance... The Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one - the knowledge and the dream.

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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

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A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.

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NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning - which is a phenomenon.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Process Quotes , Latter Quotes

SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Imperfection Quotes

Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.

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Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.

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PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

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Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

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Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.

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FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

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SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Eggs Quotes , Giving Quotes

ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.

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SPOOKER, n. A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially in the doings of spooks.

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ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination . . .

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Imagination Quotes , Romance Quotes

PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.

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CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Peace Quotes , War Quotes