Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Science Quotes, Disorder Quotes

DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

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Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.

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EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

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IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.

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The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

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INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.

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PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.

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REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted.

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renown, n. A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame - a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hands Quotes , Littles Quotes

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Lying Quotes , Sadness Quotes

PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.

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recollect, v. To recall with additions something not previously known.

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critic, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.

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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

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POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.

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MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

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Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future; Age knows her as the Dream.

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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

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PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.

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Men who expect universal peace through invention of destructive weapons of war are no wiser than one who, noting the improvement of agricultural implements, should prophesy an end to the tilling of the soil.

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