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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
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- IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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- As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.
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- RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.
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- COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.
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- RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.
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- Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
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- Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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- picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
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- resolute, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.
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- SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
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- Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.
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- me, pro. The objectionable case of I. The personal pronoun in English has three cases, the dominative, the objectionable and the oppressive. Each is all three.
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- Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
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- A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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- SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.
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- INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.
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- APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider
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- Think twice before you speak to a friend in need
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- MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.
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