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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.
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- Definition: CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.
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- A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be a signal instance of the Creator's bounty in providing for the lives of His creatures.
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- LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.
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- Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.
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- HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
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- Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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- Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.
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- POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.
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- Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
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- RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.
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- ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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- NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.
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- Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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- When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.
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- Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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- What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
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- PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method . . . of obtaining money by false pretences [by] "reading character" in the wrinkles [of] the hand. The pretence is not altogether false. . . for the wrinkles in every hand submitted plainly spell the word "dupe."
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- PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
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- KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.
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