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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Utterance Quotes
- A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.
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- Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.
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- CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
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- Twice – Once too often.
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- RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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- Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.
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- A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
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- The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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- critic, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Trying Quotes , Critics Quotes
- POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.
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- Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes
- TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.
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- THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science.
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- K, n. A consonant; originally precisely that of our H, but altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of [one of two lofty columns in] the great temple of Jarute.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Shapes Quotes
- Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
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- AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.
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- INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Iron Quotes , Water Quotes
- A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Soul Quotes , Atheism Quotes
- Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Running Quotes , Party Quotes