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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.
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- International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoldering one
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- Youth is Gilead, in which is balm for every wound.
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- URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, "I beg your pardon," and it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others.
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- A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.
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- OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
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- OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.
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- Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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- Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
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- Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
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- A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition.
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- Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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- WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made; . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread "per capita" of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.
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- Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
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- MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman.
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- PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.
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- RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.
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- POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.
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- The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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- INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache.
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