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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- PLUNDER, v. To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanishing opportunity.
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- Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
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- LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.
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- Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
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- Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.
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- ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.
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- RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
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- Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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- MAJESTY, n. The state and title of a king. Regarded with a just contempt by the Most Eminent Grand Masters, Grand Chancellors, Great Incohonees and Imperial Potentates of the ancient and honorable orders of republican America.
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- PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
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- UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
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- REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. . . . the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch.
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- LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.
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- Riven and torn with cannon-shot, the trunks of the trees protruded bunches of splinters like hands, the fingers above the wound interlacing with those below.
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- Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.
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- Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.
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- Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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- RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.
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- An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
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- Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.
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