Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Business Quotes, Men Quotes

An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

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PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.

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That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity

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An archbishop is an ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

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EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom.

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POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others.

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GOOD, adj. Sensible, madam, to the worth of this present writer. Alive, sir, to the advantages of letting him alone.

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Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.

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Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

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The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.

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Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

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A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.

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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

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The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

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EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

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FOLLY, n. That "gift and faculty divine" whose creative and controlling energy inspires Man's mind, guides his actions and adorns his life.

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Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are of the Ramshackle order, though some of our earlier architects preferred the Ironic. Recent additions to the White House in Washington are Theo-Doric, the ecclesiastic order of the Dorians. They are exceedingly fine and cost one hundred dollars a brick.

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TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mean Quotes , Men Quotes