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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.
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- Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
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- Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.
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- History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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- UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.
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- R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of "requiescat in pace", attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than "reductus in pulvis".
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- Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.
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- PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.
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- DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.
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- SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.
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- Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.
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- Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
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- picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
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- Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.
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- I think love is the most unbelievable, and critical, thing in civilization. Everything else is very mechanical and predictable, but love, you can't catch it.
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- Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.
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- CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.
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- Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.
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- When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.
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- A modern school where football is taught.
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