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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.
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- INDISCRETION, n. The guilt of woman.
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- Coronation: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.
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- POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.
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- Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
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- There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
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- Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
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- HATRED, n. A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.
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- Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
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- Advice, the smallest current coin.
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- MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.
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- FREEBOOTER, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.
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- ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.
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- PREHISTORIC, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood.
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- ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is pleased to fancy it resembles the candid simplicity of his young.
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- MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.
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- GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.
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- Liar: A lawyer with a roving commission.
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- PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharaoh the Immune. The plague today . . . is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
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- Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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