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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.
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- IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.
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- ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.
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- All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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- UNITARIAN, n. One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.
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- SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a newspaper or magazine.
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- LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
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- GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists. The former would not go into the caucus and the combination failed, greatly to the chagrin of the fusion managers.
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- MONSIGNOR- A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.
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- Damning, with bell, book and candle / Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal. / A rite permitting Satan to enslave him / Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.
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- SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.
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- CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.
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- AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.
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- The wife, or bitter half.
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- DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.
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- DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away the sins (and sinners) of the world.
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- MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.
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- COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own.
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- To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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- QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay.
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