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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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- Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
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- The best kind of onion soup is the simplest kind.
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- Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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- KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.
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- True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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- Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.
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- recollect, v. To recall with additions something not previously known.
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- Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
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- REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.
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- An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
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- QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.
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- DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.
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- IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.
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- Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.
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- INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.
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- BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
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- Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.
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- SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.
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- Liar: A lawyer with a roving commission.
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