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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.
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- Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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- In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.
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- An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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- CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.
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- NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.
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- A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood of awful examples.
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- BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.
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- LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.
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- A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.
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- Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has ever read into the pages of the Bible.
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- Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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- Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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- Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
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- POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.
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- Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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- RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience.
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- Pantheism, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.
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- Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.
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- Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Passion Quotes , Soul Quotes