Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Wine Quotes, Men Quotes

Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

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PRE-EXISTENCE, n. An unnoted factor in creation.

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Slang is a foul pool at which every dunce fills his bucket, and then sets up as a fountain.

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BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to be something from the man who wishes to do something. A man of great wealth, or one who has been pitchforked into high station, has commonly such a headful of brain that his neighbors cannot keep their hats on. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, brain is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

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Backbite: To ''speak of a man as you find him'' when he can't find you.

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NIRVANA- In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it.

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Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.

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Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

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EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.

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MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

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TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.

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VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.

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Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen.

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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.

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POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.

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Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.

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Immoral" is the judgment of the stalled ox on the gamboling lamb.

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Men who expect universal peace through invention of destructive weapons of war are no wiser than one who, noting the improvement of agricultural implements, should prophesy an end to the tilling of the soil.

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Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are of the Ramshackle order, though some of our earlier architects preferred the Ironic. Recent additions to the White House in Washington are Theo-Doric, the ecclesiastic order of the Dorians. They are exceedingly fine and cost one hundred dollars a brick.

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Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.

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