Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Life Quotes, Distance Quotes

To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.

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ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.

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Immoral" is the judgment of the stalled ox on the gamboling lamb.

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ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution.

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INDISCRETION, n. The guilt of woman.

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LAOCOON, n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and his two sons in the folds of two enormous serpents. The skill and diligence with which the old man and lads support the serpents and keep them up to their work have been justly regarded as one of the noblest artistic illustrations of the mastery of human intelligence over brute inertia.

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Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.

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Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.

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MONSIGNOR- A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.

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There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang because we must.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Unjust Quotes , Philosopher Quotes

Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.

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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

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A lottery is a tax on stupidity.

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An archbishop is an ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

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POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.

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COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own.

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Habit: A shackle for the free.

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Past, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance. A moving line called the Present parts it from an imaginary period known as the Future. These two grand divisions of Eternity, of which the one is continually effacing the other, are entirely unlike. The one is dark with sorrow and disappointment, the other bright with prosperity and joy.... Yet the Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one-the knowledge and the dream.

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Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.

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A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Apes Quotes