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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.
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- NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.
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- Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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- PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.
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- PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.
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- Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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- TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.
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- Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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- FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.
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- TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.
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- Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.
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- CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do "me"?
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- Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
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- Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
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- MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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- REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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- SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.
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- Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.
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- SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.
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- Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.
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