Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Food Quotes, Cooking Quotes

PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.

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Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.

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mine, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.

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An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

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Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

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CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.

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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

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CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch of differentiation, and who followed the primitive economic maxim, "Every man his own horse."

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Horse Quotes

MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.

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Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

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Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.

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Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

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Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.

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A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.

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A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.

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FRYING-PAN, n. One part of the penal apparatus employed in that punitive institution, a woman's kitchen. The frying-pan was invented by Calvin, and by him used in cooking span-long infants that had died without baptism; and observing one day the horrible torment of a tramp who had incautiously pulled a fried babe from the waste-dump and devoured it, it occurred to the great divine to rob death of its terrors by introducing the frying-pan into every household in Geneva. Thence it spread to all corners of the world, and has been of invaluable assistance in the propagation of his sombre faith.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Long Quotes , Baptism Quotes

Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".

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Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.

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INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.

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HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Night Quotes , Doe Quotes