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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.
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- CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
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- PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous.
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- Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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- A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition.
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- Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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- art, n. This word has no definition.
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- RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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- OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession; it meant "own," and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.
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- Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.
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- A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.
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- GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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- Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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- Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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- Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
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- Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has ever read into the pages of the Bible.
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- Contempt; the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.
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- Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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- Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
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- Slang is a foul pool at which every dunce fills his bucket, and then sets up as a fountain.
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