Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Taxes Quotes, Goods Quotes

Houseless: Having paid all taxes on household goods.

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ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.

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Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.

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MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.

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HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.

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ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.

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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated.

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CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.

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COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

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renown, n. A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame - a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand.

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An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.

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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

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Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.

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GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted.

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READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.

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Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

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A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.

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PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

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FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

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The bold and discerning writer who, recognizing the truth that language must grow by innovation if it grow at all, makes new words and uses the old in an unfamiliar sense has no following and is tartly reminded that 'it isn't in the dictionary' - although down to the time of the first lexicographer no author ever had used a word that was in the dictionary.

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