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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.
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- BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
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- Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.
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- Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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- INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
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- The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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- ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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- PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.
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- Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.
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- KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
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- RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.
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- REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.
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- In this world one must have a name; it prevents confusion, even when it does not establish identity. Some, though, are known by numbers, which also seem inadequate distinctions.
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- DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number - just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice.
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- The covers of this book are too far apart.
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- RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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- WITCH, n. (1) Any ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil.
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- alone, adj. In bad company.
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- When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
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- REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. . . . the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch.
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