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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
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- To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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- You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
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- ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is pleased to fancy it resembles the candid simplicity of his young.
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- Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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- Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
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- Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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- REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.
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- The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
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- PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
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- Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
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- PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
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- Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.
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- REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience.
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- RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, "Homo ventrambulans".
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- Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
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- RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.
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- In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.
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- A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
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- INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things.
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