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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition.
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- ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.
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- ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.
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- Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
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- Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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- OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe . . . . The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.
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- No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.
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- Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.
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- MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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- Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.
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- Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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- Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
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- Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
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- Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
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- MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.
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- Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
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- Liar: A lawyer with a roving commission.
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- A miracle is an act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.
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- Glutton- A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia.
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- PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Smell Quotes