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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.
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- SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.
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- A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
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- RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.
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- MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.
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- Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.
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- Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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- Doubt is the father of invention.
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- ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Men Quotes
- Monsieur Franqulin, inventor of electricity. This illustrious savant, after having made several voyages around the world, died on the Sandwich Islands and was devoured by savages, of whom not a single fragment was ever recovered.
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- LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.
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- self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.
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- ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.
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- AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.
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- To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.
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- Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future; Age knows her as the Dream.
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- Miss, n. A title which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.
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- Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
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- Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
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- MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Light Quotes