George W. Bush Quotes, Funny Quotes

More and more of our imports are coming from overseas

4 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

5 years ago

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Tags : Theodore Roosevelt Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.

4 years ago

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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

The Secretary, working in the Dismal Swamp betimes next morning, was informed that a youth waited in the hall who gave the name of Sloppy. The footman who communicated this intelligence made a decent pause before uttering the name, to express that it was forced on his reluctance by the youth in question, and that if the youth had had the good sense and good taste to inherit some other name it would have spared the feelings of him the bearer.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Mr. and Mrs. Boffin sat staring at mid-air, and Mrs. Wilfer sat silently giving them to understand that every breath she drew required to be drawn with a self-denial rarely paralleled in history.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

5 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.

4 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.

4 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friends Quotes