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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
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Tags : Abba Eban Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together.
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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Faith Quotes
- The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Many readers judge of the power of a book by the shock it gives their feelings - as some savage tribes determine the power of muskets by their recoil; that being considered best which fairly prostrates the purchaser.
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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reading Quotes
- Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger; the child will turn instinctively for assistance, the puppy will grovel in abject submission, the kitten will brace its tiny body for a frantic resistance.
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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Children Quotes
- The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes
- Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes
- The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
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- Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part.
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Tags : Aimee Mullins Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- " ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cuttingly, "but I am not a brute."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes