Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes, Humorous Quotes, Sarcasm Quotes

I think you want a little unofficial help. Three undetected murders in one year won't do, Lestrade. But you handled the Molesey Mystery with less than your usual - that's to say, you handled it fairly well.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Eating Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Brain Quotes

Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He that plays the king shall be welcome- his Majesty shall have tribute of me; the adventurous knight shall use his foil and target; the lover shall not sigh gratis; the humorous man shall end his part in peace; the clown shall make those laugh whose lungs are tickle o' th' sere; and the lady shall say her mind freely, or the blank verse shall halt fort.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Kings Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly irksome to me.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Some medical beast had revived tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new fence.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Doctors Quotes

He had never seen a woman doctor before, and his whole conservative soul rose up in revolt at the idea. He could not recall any biblical injunction that the man should remain ever the doctor and the woman the nurse, and yet he felt as if a blasphemy had been committed.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Biblical Quotes

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fitness Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The unexpected has happened so continually in my life that it has ceased to deserve the name.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

The sky was of the deepest blue, with a few white, fleecy clouds drifting lazily across it, and the air was filled with the low drone of insects or with a sudden sharper note as bee or bluefly shot past with its quivering, long-drawn hum, like an insect tuning-fork.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Uncles Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Because of its vitality, the computing field is always in desperate need of new cliches: Banality soothes our nerves.

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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Technology Quotes

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Inspiration Quotes