Winston Churchill Quotes, Humorous Quotes, Eating Quotes

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Eating Quotes

It is our American habit if we find the foundations of our educational structure unsatisfactory to add another story or wing.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Education Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Drinking Quotes

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fitness Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am not an economist. I am an honest man!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Dumb as a drum vith a hole in it, sir.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.

5 years ago

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Tags : Percy Bysshe Shelley Quotes , Happy Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really does.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Bernstein Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Knowledge Quotes

I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Exercise Quotes