Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Humorous Quotes, Doctors Quotes

Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Doctors Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Who made the world I cannot tell; 'Tis made, and here am I in hell. My hand, though now my knuckles bleed, I never soiled with such a deed.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Hands Quotes

They spell it da Vinci and pronounce it da Vinchy. Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else unless it is an enemy.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Men Quotes

Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

His neighbor is a tooth-drawer. That bag at his girdle is full of the teeth that he drew at Winchester fair. I warrant that there are more sound ones than sorry, for he is quick at his work and a trifle dim in the eye.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Humorous Quotes

You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adolphus Busch Quotes , Money Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"Dr. Munro, sir," said he, "I am a walking museum. You could fit what ISN'T the matter with me on to the back of a -- visiting card. If there's any complaint you want to make a special study of, just you come to me, sir, and see what I can do for you. It's not every one that can say that he has had cholera three times, and cured himself by living on red pepper and brandy."

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Eating Quotes

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Dumb as a drum vith a hole in it, sir.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

5 years ago

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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes