A. E. Housman Quotes, Humorous Quotes, Hands Quotes

Who made the world I cannot tell; 'Tis made, and here am I in hell. My hand, though now my knuckles bleed, I never soiled with such a deed.

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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Hands Quotes

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Crafts Quotes

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Thou slave, thou wretch, thou coward! Thou little valiant, great in villainy! Thou ever strong upon the stronger side! Thou Fortune's champion, that dost never fight But where her humorous ladyship is by To teach thee safety.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Strong Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fitness Quotes , Humorous Quotes

His neighbor is a tooth-drawer. That bag at his girdle is full of the teeth that he drew at Winchester fair. I warrant that there are more sound ones than sorry, for he is quick at his work and a trifle dim in the eye.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is our American habit if we find the foundations of our educational structure unsatisfactory to add another story or wing.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Education Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I don't even know what street Canada is on.

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Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Canada Quotes