Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes, Humorous Quotes, Sarcasm Quotes

Might I trouble you to open the window, for chloroform vapour does not help the palate.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

I occasionally get birthday cards from fans. But it's often the same message: They hope it's my last.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Al Forman Quotes , Birthday Quotes , Humorous Quotes

My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Uncles Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am not an economist. I am an honest man!

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Because of its vitality, the computing field is always in desperate need of new cliches: Banality soothes our nerves.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Technology Quotes

But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Ophelia Quotes

If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"She's a very charming and delightful creature," quoth Mr. Robert Sawyer, in reply; "and has only one fault that I know of, Ben. It happens, unfortunately, that that single blemish is a want of taste. She don't like me."

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really does.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Al Bernstein Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Knowledge Quotes

"I have seen those symptoms before," said Holmes, throwing his cigarette into the fire. "Oscillation upon the pavement always means an affaire de coeur."

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Mean Quotes

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly irksome to me.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Life Quotes , Humorous Quotes