Winston Churchill Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Humorous Quotes

History is written by the victors.

3 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Humorous Quotes

My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position.

4 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Uncles Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

4 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Animal Quotes

I shall write a book some day about the appropriateness of names. Geoffrey Chaucer has a ribald ring, as is proper and correct, and Alexander Pope was inevitably Alexander Pope. Colley Cibber was a silly little man without much elegance and Shelley was very Percy and very Bysshe.

4 years ago

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Tags : James Joyce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

3 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have often been downcast, but never in despair; I regard our hiding as a dangerous adventure, romantic and interesting at the same time. In my diary I treat all the privations as amusing. I have made up my mind now to lead a different life from other girls and, later on, different from ordinary housewives. My start has been so very full of interest, and that is the sole reason why I have to laugh at the humorous side of the most dangerous moments.

3 years ago

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Tags : Anne Frank Quotes , Girl Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Talkers are no good doers.

4 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Silence Quotes

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

4 years ago

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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Inspirational Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.

4 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes , Humorous Quotes

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

4 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.

3 years ago

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with friends. I've lost 30 pounds.

4 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Drinking Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

4 years ago

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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.

3 years ago

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Who made the world I cannot tell; 'Tis made, and here am I in hell. My hand, though now my knuckles bleed, I never soiled with such a deed.

4 years ago

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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Hands Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

4 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He that plays the king shall be welcome- his Majesty shall have tribute of me; the adventurous knight shall use his foil and target; the lover shall not sigh gratis; the humorous man shall end his part in peace; the clown shall make those laugh whose lungs are tickle o' th' sere; and the lady shall say her mind freely, or the blank verse shall halt fort.

4 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Kings Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

4 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy.

4 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is emulation; nor the musician's, which is fantastical; nor the courtier's, which is proud; not the soldier's which is ambitious; nor the lawyer's, which is politic; nor the lady's, which is nice; nor the lover's, which is all these: but it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, which, by often rumination, wraps me in a most humorous sadness.

4 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Nice Quotes , Humorous Quotes