Abraham Kaplan Quotes, Children Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.

5 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Kaplan Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble.

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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Running Quotes , Humorous Quotes

They spell it da Vinci and pronounce it da Vinchy. Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

4 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Communication Quotes , Humorous Quotes

... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liars Quotes , Humorous Quotes

No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals.

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Tags : Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes , War Quotes , Humorous Quotes

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Purpose Quotes

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Our civilization has decided that determining the guilt or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men. When it wants a library catalogued, or the solar system discovered, or any trifle of that kind, it uses up its specialists. But when it wishes anything done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

4 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The funniest things are the forbidden.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Life And Love Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Humorous Quotes

One dumb-bell, Watson! Consider an athlete with one dumb-bell. Picture to yourself the unilateral development - the imminent danger of a spinal curvature. Shocking, Watson, shocking!

4 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Athlete Quotes

"I have seen those symptoms before," said Holmes, throwing his cigarette into the fire. "Oscillation upon the pavement always means an affaire de coeur."

4 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Mean Quotes

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

4 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes