Mark Twain Quotes, Fire Quotes, Order Quotes

When your watch gets out of order you have choice of two things to do: throw it in the fire or take it to the watch-tinker. The former is the quickest.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fire Quotes , Order Quotes

Everybody's private motto: It's better to be popular than right.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Popularity Quotes

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to; but a hog is different.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Summer Quotes , Doors Quotes

All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. The theological knowledge which they conceal cannot justly be regarded as less valuable than that which they reveal. That is, when a man is buying a basket of strawberries it can profit him to know that the bottom half of it is rotten.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Educational Quotes

...the circumstances and the atmosphere always have so much to do in directing a conversation, especially a German conversation, which is only a kind of an insurrection, anyway.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atmosphere Quotes , Language Quotes

India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Two Quotes

It is sound judgment to put on a bold face and play your hand for a hundred times what it is worth; forty-nine times out of fifty nobody dares to call it, and you roll in the chips.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hands Quotes , Play Quotes

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mothers Day Quotes , Mom Quotes

We are strange beings, we seem to go free, but we go in chains - chains of training, custom, convention, association, environment - in a word, Circumstance, and against these bonds the strongest of us struggle in vain.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Struggle Quotes , Training Quotes

In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Editors Quotes , Clothes Quotes

It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Boys Quotes , Used Quotes

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Motivational Sports Quotes

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. You cannot eliminate habits that no longer serve you. You can only replace them with new habits that support your goals. Moment by moment, you need to live with awareness and structure the habits that you include or exclude in your days.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes , Men Quotes

Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Suicide Quotes , Balloons Quotes

Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Advice Quotes

The funniest things are the forbidden.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

This autobiography of mine is a mirror, and I am looking at myself in it all the time. Incidentally I notice the people that pass along at my back - I get glimpses of them in the mirror - and whenever they say or do anything that can help advertise me and flatter me and raise me in my own estimation, I set these things down in my autobiography.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mirrors Quotes , People Quotes

As I have said before, I never had any large respect for good spelling. That is my feeling yet. Before the spelling-book came with its arbitrary forms, men unconsciously revealed shades of their characters, and also added enlightening shades of expression to what they wrote by their spelling, and so it is possible that the spelling-book has been a doubtful benevolence to us.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Respect Quotes , Book Quotes