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  • English Jokes   20
  • Johnny Is 33 Years Old And He Is Still Single. One Day A Friend Asked, "Why Aren't You Married? Can't You Find A Woman Who Will Be A Good Wife?"
    Johnny Replied, "Actually, I've Found Many Women I Wanted To Marry, But When I Bring Them Home To Meet My Parents, My Mother Doesn't Like Them."
    His Friend Thinks For A Moment And Says, "I've Got The Perfect Solution, Just Find A Girl Who's Just Like Your Mother."
    A Few Months Later They Meet Again And His Friend Says, "Did You Find The Perfect Girl? Did Your Mother Like Her?" With A Frown On His Face,
    Johnny Answers, "Yes, I Found The Perfect Girl. She Was Just Like My Mother. You Were Right, My Mother Liked Her Very Much."
    The Friend Said, "Then What's The Problem?"
    Johnny Replied, "My Father Doesn't Like Her."
    • 8 years ago



    Tags : English Jokes , Whatsapp Funny Jokes , Family Jokes
  • :princess:Girl To Fiancé: ‘When We’re Married:revolving_hearts: I Want To Share All Your Troubles And Worries.’

    :man_with_gua_pi_mao:Fiancé: ‘But I Don’t Have Any Troubles And Worries.’

    :princess:Girl: ‘I Know, But We’re Not Married Yet.’

    :flushed::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::grinning::grinning:
    • 8 years ago



    Tags : Husband And Wife Jokes , English Jokes
  • Pingu : Daddy, Have Youever Been To Egypt?
    FATHER : No. Why Do You Ask That?
    Pingu : Well, Where Did You Get THIS Mummy??
    • 8 years ago



    Tags : English Jokes
  • Husband Sent A Text To Wife At Night,
    “Hi I Will Get Late, Plz Try And Wash All My Dirty Clothes
    And Make Sure You Prepare My Favorite Dish Before I Return.”
    He Sent Another Text, “I Forgot To Tell U That I Got An Increase In
    My Salary At The End Of Month I’m Getting U A New Car”
    She Text Back, “Omg Really?”
    Husband Replied: “No I Just Wanted To Make Sure U Got My 1st Msg.”
    • 8 years ago



    Tags : English Jokes , Husband And Wife Jokes
  • A Couple:couple: Drove Down A Country Road For Several Miles, Not Saying A Word. :mask:
    An Earlier Discussion Had Led To An Argument And Neither Of Them Wanted To Concede Their Position.
    As They Passed A Barnyard Of Mules, Goats:goat: And Pigs:pig2:, The Husband Asked Sarcastically, "Relatives Of Yours?" "Yep," The Wife Replied, "in-laws.":stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:
    :grinning::joy::grinning::joy::grinning:
    • 8 years ago



    Tags : Husband And Wife Jokes , English Jokes
  • NEWTON’S LAWs:
    A Cow Was Walking, Newton Stopped It..He Stopped,,
    He Found His 1st Law..
    “An Object Continues To Move Unless It Stops”
    .
    .
    He Gave A Force By Kicking The Cow
    It Gave A Sound
    He Formulated The 2nd Law..
    “Force,F=MA”
    .
    .
    After Sometimes Cow Gave A Kick To Newton,,
    Then He Formulated 3rd Law..
    “Every Action Has An Equal And Opposite Reaction”
    • 8 years ago



    Tags : English Jokes , Funny Jokes
  • The Man Approached The Very Beautiful Woman:princess: In The Large Supermarket And Asked,
    “You Know, I’ve Lost My Wife Here In The Supermarket. Can You Talk To Me For A Couple Of Minutes?”
    “Why?” :flushed:
    “Because Every Time I Talk To A Beautiful Woman My Wife Appears Out Of Nowhere.”
    :grinning::joy::grinning::joy::grinning:
    • 8 years ago



    Tags : Husband And Wife Jokes , English Jokes , Whatsapp Funny Jokes
  • A Nice, Calm And Respectable Lady Went Into The Pharmacy, Right Up To The Pharmacist,
    looked Straight Into His Eyes, And Said, "I Would Like To Buy Some Cyanide."
    The Pharmacist Asked, "Why In The World Do You Need Cyanide?"
    The Lady Replied, "I Need It To Poison My Husband."
    The Pharmacists Eyes Got Big And He Exclaimed,
    "Lord Have Mercy! I Can't Give You Cyanide To Kill Your Husband! That's Against The Law! I'll Lose My License!
    They'll Throw Both Of Us In Jail! All Kinds Of Bad Things Will Happen. Absolutely Not! You CANNOT Have Any Cyanide!"
    The Lady Reached Into Her Purse And Pulled Out A Picture Of Her Husband In Bed With The Pharmacist's Wife.
    The Pharmacist Looked At The Picture And Replied, "Well Now. That's Different. You Didn't Tell Me You Had A Prescription."
    • 8 years ago



    Tags : Husband And Wife Jokes , English Jokes , Funny Jokes , Whatsapp Funny Jokes
  • The Newlywed Wife :princess: Said To Her Husband When He Returned From Work, “I Have Great News For You. Pretty Soon, We’re Going To Be Three In This House Instead Of Two.”
    Her Husband Ran To Her With A Smile On His Face And Delight In His Eyes. He Was Glowing Of Happiness And Kissing His Wife When She Said, “I’m Glad That You Feel This Way Since Tomorrow Morning:sun_with_face:, My Mother Moves In With Us.”:flushed::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:
    • 8 years ago



    Tags : Husband And Wife Jokes , English Jokes
  • Dad’s Writes On Son’s Facebook Wall:
    Dear Son, How Are You? All Are Fine Here. We Miss You A Lot.
    Please Turn Off The Computer And Come Down For Dinner.
    • 8 years ago



    Tags : English Jokes
  • A Husband And Wife Were Golfing When Suddenly The Wife Asked, "Honey, If I Died Would You Get Married Again?"
    The Husband Said, "No Sweetie."
    The Woman Said, "I'm Sure You Would."
    So The Man Said, "Okay, I Would"
    Then The Woman Asked, "Would You Let Her Sleep In Our Bed?"
    And The Man Replied, "Ya, I Guess So."
    Then The Wife Asked, "Would You Let Her Use My Golf Clubs?"
    And The Husband Replied, "No, She's Left Handed."
    :heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes:
    • 8 years ago



    Tags : Husband And Wife Jokes , English Jokes , Whatsapp Funny SMS
  • Wife : Had Ur Lunch.?
    Husband : Had Ur Lunch.?
    Wife : I M Asking You
    Husband : I M Asking You
    Wife : U Copying Me.?
    Husband : U Copying Me?
    Wife : Lets Go Shopping
    Husband :Yes I Had My Lunch
    • 8 years ago



    Tags : English Jokes , Husband And Wife Jokes
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