DAD: Jyotishi ji mujhe kaise pata chal
sakta hai ki mera beta future mein kya
banega?
JYOTISHI: aap uske table pe Cigarette,
Beer,Paiso ki Gaddi aur Books rakh do.
Unme se jo wo uthaega wahi banega.
DAD: ok Agle din Beta Aaya. Table dekhi.
Paiso ki Gaddi uthake jeb mein rakhi,
Cigarette pi, Beer chhupa li, Aur Books hath
mein leke ghar se chala gaya.
DAD: Us nalayak ne to sab kuchh leliya!
JYOTISHI: Sir Mubarak Ho!!
Aapka beta ENGINEER banega! :)
Sari Raat Unka Number Hum Milaate Rahe,.Customer Care Wali Aunty KehtiSajan Apke Busy Kisi Aur K Sath,Hum Re-dial Pe Re-dial Dabaate Rahe,.Raat Se Subah Hone Ko Aa Gai,Subah Jab Hui Unse Mulakat, IljamEk Duje Par Lagaate Rahe,.Gusse Me Call Register Check Kiya ToPata Chala,KeHum Unko Aur Vo Hume Ek Hi TimePe No. Milaate Rahe.!acha laga to like.~navi
Doctor Pagal se:
Tum Pagal Q huey?
Pagal: Maine 1 Vidhva se Shadi ki,
Uski Jawan Beti se Mere Baap ne Shadi
ki
Yu Meri wo Beti meri Maa ban gai Un k ghar Beti hui To wo meri Behn hui
Magar main uski Naani ka pati tha
Is liye wo meri Nathn hui.
Isi Tarha mera Beta apni Daadi kaBhai
ban gaya Or main apne Bete ka Bhanja
aur Mera Baap mera Damaad ban gaya
Aur mera Beta apne Dada ka Sala ban
gaya aur
Dr: Abey chup kar saale
Kya mujhe b Pagal krega..?
एक पिजंरे मेँ कुछ तोते एक तोती को छेँड रहेँ
थेँ........!
♥
जबकि दुसरे पिजंरेँ मेँ एक तोता पुजा और
दुसरा तोता नमाज पढ रहा था.............!
♥
मालिक ने सोचा"-
कितने नेक तोते है
इनके पिजंरे मेँ तोती आराम से रहेगी,
♥
उसने तोती को नेक तोतो के पिजंरे मे डाल
दिया,
जब तोती उस पिजंरे मे गयी,
♥
तो पुजा करने वाला तोता नमाज पढने वाले तोते
से बोला"-
♥
उठो खानसाहब दुआँ कबुल हो गयी,
अपनी आईटम आ गयी......$!!
Ek College Ke Kuch Ladke Roz Ek
Hotel Me Jate
Aur Ek Waiter Ko Khoob Preshan
Karte The.
Ek Din Unhe Apni Galti Ka Ehsaas
Hua Aur
Unhone Waiter Ko 10 Rupaye Tip
Dekar Maafi Mangi-
"Sorry Bhai,aaj K Baad Hum Tumhe
Kabhi Preshan Nhi
Krenge."
Waiter Khush Hokr Bola-"thnx
Bhai,main V Waada Karta Hoon
Ki Aaj K Baad Aaplogo Ki Coffey Me
Thooka Nhi Krunga ! ! " :)
Ek pagal roz yehi kehta tha-
Gulti banaunga, panchi ko marunga..
6 month pagal khane me treatment k baad
Dr. ne pucha- Ab kya karoge?
Pagal- Shadi
Dr.-phir? Pagal-Suhagrat
Dr.-good, phir?Pagal-Sari utarunga
Dr.-phir?Pagal-Blouse utarunga
Dr.-Oh no! phir?Pagal-Br* be utarunga
Dr.-My god, Phir?Pagal-Phir kya!
Br* k elastic se GULTi banaunga or
Panchi Ko Marunga.
Dr.-Oh my gudnes
Sala 2 to perfct pagal hai re..
Ek ladki apne boyfriend se park mein roz milne jati Wo roz time par pohonchti,
lekin ladka hamesha late aata Lekin ladki kabhi usse naraz nahi hoti,
Ek din ladki park mei nahi pohonchi,
Ladka gusse se uske ghar gaya Waha pata chala ki ladki ko blood cancer hai aur wo sirf 6 din jiyegi,
Ladka rote huye ghar aya aur sucide karne buildng ke 100th floor par gaya,
Aur ladki ke liye 1 letter chodda Usme likha tha..
Tum mera hamesha wait karti thi aur me roz
late ata tha lekin aaj main jaldi pohonch raha hu aur tumara wait karunga..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Theek ussi wakt Shaktimaan waha se ja raha tha
Kya Shaktimaan usse bacha payega..?
Janne k liye dekhte rahiye SHAKTIMAAN
अगर सभी भारतीय 90 दिन तक
कोई भी विदेशी सामान
नहीं ख़रीदे...
तो भारत दुनिया का दूसरा सबसे
अमीर देश बन सकता है..
सिर्फ 90 दिन में ही भारत के
2 रुपये 1 डॉलर के बराबर हो जायेंगे..
हम सबको मिल कर
ये कोशिश आजमानी चाहिए
क्युकी ये देश है हमारा..!!!!
kya sirf sarkar hi kosis late rupya bachane ki
1 Indian hone k Nate hamara koi farz nahi
Bacha:- Bhagwan Kare Teacher Ki
Zuban Cut Jaye. Roz Roz Dant Ti Hai.
Next Day Zuban Cut Gai..
Bacha :- Bhagwan Kare Master Ka
Hath Toot Jaye. Tang Krta Hai.
Bahut Marta Hai.
Next Day Hath Toot Jata Hai...
Bacha :- Bhagwan Mere Baap Ko
Utha Le.
Bahut Marte Hai.
Next Day Baap Ghar Aate Hain,
Bacha :- Papa Aapko Kuch Nahi Hua?
Baap :- Nahi Kyo
Bacha :- Maa Kahan Hain.?
Baap :- Pados Me Sharma Uncle Ki
Death Ho Gai Hai,
Wahan Gayi Hain.
Techer: Homework kyu nahi kiya?
Student: TV Dekh Raha Tha...Mood Nahi Tha...
Teacher:(Slap) Batamiz muh pe jawab deta hai?
Student: Kyu Sach ka Sabak sikhaye..
Jab sach sun bhi na paye...
Sach koi bole to tu Niyam Kanun bataye..
Tera dar,
Tera pyar,
Teri wah,
Tu hi Rakh,
Rakh Saali..
SADDA HAq AitHe RakH...
SADDA HAq AitHe RakH...
Ek din ek ladke ki girlfrnd ka BIRTHDAY
tha.
Boy was not in that city.
So, he ordered 24 RED ROSE for his
girlfriend. He called her up.
Dear maine tumhare liye utne ROSE ain
jitni saal ki tum ho gyi ho.
While delivering florist thought: Ye
aajka mera sabse achha customer hai.
Chalo ise 10 ROSE FREE me de deta hu. So, he gave 34 instead of 24.
aur aaj tak ladka nahi samajh paya ki
uska BREAK-UP kyu hua..! :
3 cheezain zindagi me 1 bar milti hain
1.Waalden
2.Husn.
3.Jawani
3 cheezain soch samajh ker uthao
1.Qadam
2.Qasam
3.Qalam
3 chizain soch ker karo
1.Mohabbat
2.Bat
3.Faisla
3 chizin kisi ka intezar nahin kartien
1.Maut
2.Waqt
3.Umar
3 chizein choti na samjho
1.Qarz
2.Farz
3.Marz
Padho samjho or amal bhi karo.
Teacher:3 Idiots Dekhnay ke Bad Ap ko kya Lesson Mila?Pappu:Miss Yehi ki Engineering Padh ke v Medical ki Ladki Fasai Ja Sakti Hai. Miss:Shut Up,Get Out. Bablu:Miss Mein Bataon? Miss:Batao Bablu:Miss College ke 1st Day Underwear Zaror Pehna Chahiye Miss:Get Out. Shamu:Miss Mein Bataon? Samu:Miss Doctor ke Elawa Engineer Bhi Delivery karva Sakta Hai Miss:Get Out. PAVAN:Miss Mein Bataon Miss:gud,bolo PAVAN:FRENCH KISS MEIN NAK BICH MEIN NHIAATI. & I can show demo. Miss:Class is OVER
Ek din ek ladke ki girlfrnd ka BIRTHDAY tha.
Boy was not in that city.
So, he ordered 24 RED ROSE for his girlfriend.
He called her up.
Dear maine tumhare liye utne
ROSE ain jitni saal ki tum ho gyi ho.
While delivering florist thought:
Ye aajka mera sabse achha customer hai.
Chalo ise 10 ROSE FREE me de deta hu.
So, he gave 34 instead of 24.
aur aaj tak ladka nahi samajh paya ki
uska BREAK-UP kyu hua..!
Ek Chaor Ameer Aadmi Ke Ghar
Chori Karne Gaya Tijori Par
Likha Tha Tijori Todne Ki
Jarorat Nahi Hai 452 No Prees
Karke Samne Wala Lal Batan
Dabaye Jaise Hi Batan Daba
Alaram Baja Aur Police Aagye..
Jate Jate Chor Seth Se Bola.
Ab Mera Inshanyat Se Bharosh
Uth Gaya Hai..
1 ladki apne lvr se gift me ring lena chahti thi.
Magr ladke ne us ko"bhalu"gift diya
jis par ladki ko buhot gusa aya,
or us ne woh"bhalu" road pe phenk diya ladka woh"bhalu"uthane k liye road ki tarf bhaga mgr us ka car se acident ho gya
or woh wahin mar gya...
Ladki dekh kr chillayi or usne woh"bhalu"utha k apne seeny se laga kr zor se rone lagi.
Tabhi"bhalu"mai se awaz aai i love u ring inmy pocket
will u marry me? Trustin your love. dnt makd any demand in love&always respect ur
love.
Bhagwan ne mujhse kaha ki Tu apne Sabhi dosto ko chhod de to "Ferrari" dunga
Maine Bhagwan ko dekha aur kaha ki
He Bhagwan
Ye dost wo h jinhone meri hr khushi hr gam me sath diya
Mere bachpan se lekr aaj tk mere
sath rhe
Kabhi roya to apne hatho se mere ansu pochhe
Ek glass pani b piya to b mere sath share kiya
Meri ek awaz pr dode chle aaye
or aap kehte ho ki me 1 FERRARI ke liye inhe chhod du
KHAIR, Koi baat nahi
Lekin FERRARI Red color ki hi dena