Boys k t0p 10 jhoot!!
1. Mujhe tmhari bohat fikar hai
(jhoota:)
2.Tum meri life ki pEhli aur akhiri
pasand ho..
(Astagfirullah :)
3. Cell silent pe tha jaAn
( Larke ka m0bile silent? :)
4. Ami ki call ha jani
(Had hogai:-)
5. Hamari shadi zarur hogi.
(jho0t m0ot wali :)
6. Mushkil waqt mei mujhe sath pa0gi..
(bhagne walon k :)
7. Pyar mei sub jaiz hai meri jaan..
(Chahe izat ki Abc h0jaye :)
8. Tmhare parents mere parents hain..
(sirf shadi se pehle tak :)
9. Tmhare siwa kisi se bAt nai krta..
(taubA kro :)
10. Tm na mili to kanwara betha
rahunga..! :-D
(pure ek haftey tak :)
Santa dabang dekh ker aaya,
School mei…
Sir: santa tumhare sare ans. galat hn,
marks de to kahan?
Santa: Kamal karte hai sirji, marks hi to mang rahe hai,chup chap de do warna thappad mar k b le sakte hai.
Sir: Badtamiz
kya bak rha hai?
Santa: Badtamiz se yaad aya sir, apke papa kaise hai?
Sir: nikal ja class se!
Santa: Chup chap se marks de do sir, warna ans sheet me itne chhed karunga, ki confuse ho jaoge ki marks kaha de aur zero kahan!!
ek ladka tha wo kisi se nhi darta tha fir bhi na jane kiu wo dar dar ke rahat tha raat me sota or utha utha kar rota tha na jane kiu wo kisi se na darte hue bhi wo darta tha maa puchhati par wo kuchha na kehta tha or akele me ja kar wo bahut hi jada rota tha ab usne bta bhi karn sabse chhod dia tha na jane wo kis se darta tha
.
ek din wo mar gya
,
or uski diary me likha tha wo english se darta tha
.
or likha tha mujhe maf kar dena maa papa
.
Ek pagal roz yehi kehta tha-
Gulti banaunga, panchi ko marunga..
6 month pagal khane me treatment k baad
Dr. ne pucha- Ab kya karoge?
Pagal- Shadi
Dr.-phir? Pagal-Suhagrat
Dr.-good, phir?Pagal-Sari utarunga
Dr.-phir?Pagal-Blouse utarunga
Dr.-Oh no! phir?Pagal-Br* be utarunga
Dr.-My god, Phir?Pagal-Phir kya!
Br* k elastic se GULTi banaunga or
Panchi Ko Marunga.
Dr.-Oh my gudnes
Sala 2 to perfct pagal hai re..
एक पिजंरे मेँ कुछ तोते एक तोती को छेँड रहेँ
थेँ........!
♥
जबकि दुसरे पिजंरेँ मेँ एक तोता पुजा और
दुसरा तोता नमाज पढ रहा था.............!
♥
मालिक ने सोचा"-
कितने नेक तोते है
इनके पिजंरे मेँ तोती आराम से रहेगी,
♥
उसने तोती को नेक तोतो के पिजंरे मे डाल
दिया,
जब तोती उस पिजंरे मे गयी,
♥
तो पुजा करने वाला तोता नमाज पढने वाले तोते
से बोला"-
♥
उठो खानसाहब दुआँ कबुल हो गयी,
अपनी आईटम आ गयी......$!!
मुट्ठी भर चने खाकर बाप एक लोटा पानी पी लेता है,
अपने बच्चे के महकते टिफिन को सूंघकर वह जी लेता है|
धूप में रिक्शा खींचकर कमाये चंद रुपयों से वह,
आईएएस की तैयारी करते बेटे के लिए घी लेता है|
बच्चों को न तरसने दिया जिसने कपड़ों के लिए,
फटे हुए पाजामे को चुपके से वह बाप सी लेता है|
जो भी बना है घर में सब औलादों को परोसकर,
अपने लिए वह भूखा बाप छोटी सी तस्तरी लेता है|
उसकी जेब से बरसते हैं चॉकलेट और बिस्कीट,
बच्चों की मासूम हंसी में
हीं वह अपनी खुशी समझता हं़
Story of MATH.
Aj se 300 years pahle MATH bohat masom aur piyara tha.
Ek din kuch badmash studnts ne MATH ko bohat mara yahan tak k Math ki akhri Sans thi marty marty sub students ko bad dua de gya.
Aur
Ye keh ker is dunia se chala gya k mein to ja raha hoon lekin
MATHS
M = Meri
A = Aatma
T = Tumhe
H = Hamesha
S = Sataye gi
Aaj bhi math ki aatma bhatak rahi hay or saray students ko sata rahi hay or hamesha satati rahegi..
Fwd 2 all studnts.;)
1 ladki apne lvr se gift me ring lena chahti thi.
Magr ladke ne us ko"bhalu"gift diya
jis par ladki ko buhot gusa aya,
or us ne woh"bhalu" road pe phenk diya ladka woh"bhalu"uthane k liye road ki tarf bhaga mgr us ka car se acident ho gya
or woh wahin mar gya...
Ladki dekh kr chillayi or usne woh"bhalu"utha k apne seeny se laga kr zor se rone lagi.
Tabhi"bhalu"mai se awaz aai i love u ring inmy pocket
will u marry me? Trustin your love. dnt makd any demand in love&always respect ur
love.
Subah Subah Usne
Subah Subah usne bade hi pyar se
mere Ghar ke Darwaje ki Ghanti bajai,
Maine ek dum se li Angrai aur,
Jab darwaja khola toa vo
Bade hi pyar se muskurai ,
Saath hi saath vo thora sa sarmai,
Aur thora ghabrai,
Maine toa socha ke aaj toa Aapni,
Nikal pari mere Bhai,
Agale hi Pal vo mere paas aai ,
Aur mere kaan main bade hi jor se chillai,
Main hi hu ji aapki nai naveli kaam wali bai..
Car Mai Pappu Ki Family Jaa Rahi Thi.
Police Ne Car Ko Roka:
Ye Suraksha Week Hai.. Aap Seat
Belt Pehan Kar Car Chala Rahe Ho,
.
Aapko 5000 Ka Inaam Diya Jata Hai.
.
Aap Is Inaam Ka Kya Karoge.. ??
.
..
Pappu:- Mai Iss Se Apna Driving
Licence Banwaunga..
.
Tabhi Uski Maa Boli:
Iss Ki Baat Ka Yakin Mat Karo..
.
Daaru Pee Kar Kuchh Bhi Bolta Hai..
.
Uske Papa Neend Se Jaage Aur
Police Ko Dekh Ke Bole:
Mujhe Pata Tha Ki Chori Ki Car
Me Hum Zyada Door Nahi Ja Paenge..
.
Tabhi Car Ki Dikki Se Awaaj Aayi:
Hamne Bordar Cross Kar Liya Kya ??
1st girl: Aaj ke ladko ka koi
eitbar nahi..
maii to ab uska muh bhi nahi
dekhungi.
2nd girl: Kyu kya hua tumneuse kisi aur
ladki ke sath dekhlia?
.
.
.
.
1st girl: Nahi usne mujhe kisiaur ladke
ke sath dekh lia hai.
Jabki woh kal keh raha tha ke
woh out of city jaraha hai.
Jhutha, Dhokebaaz,
Farebi.......:)
Public Toilet Me Baithe Aadmi Ko
Sath Baithe Toilet Wale Ki Awaz Ayi
Kya Haal Hai Yar
Wo Ghabra Kar Bola Fine Thik Hu
Phir Awaz Ayi Kya Kr Rhe Ho
Usne Kaha Kuch Nai Tumhari Tarah Baitha Hua Hu
Phir Awaz Ayi Mai Abi Aa Jau Tumhare Pass Kya
Aadmi Ghabra Kar Na Na Na Mai Abi Busy Hu
Than Awaz Ayi Yar Mai Baad Me Call Krta Hu
Pta Nai Kaun Kamina
Dusre Toilet Se
Meri Har Baat Ka Jawab De Rha Hai...
Ek College Ke Kuch Ladke Roz Ek
Hotel Me Jate
Aur Ek Waiter Ko Khoob Preshan
Karte The.
Ek Din Unhe Apni Galti Ka Ehsaas
Hua Aur
Unhone Waiter Ko 10 Rupaye Tip
Dekar Maafi Mangi-
"Sorry Bhai,aaj K Baad Hum Tumhe
Kabhi Preshan Nhi
Krenge."
Waiter Khush Hokr Bola-"thnx
Bhai,main V Waada Karta Hoon
Ki Aaj K Baad Aaplogo Ki Coffey Me
Thooka Nhi Krunga ! ! " :)
Techer: Homework kyu nahi kiya?
Student: TV Dekh Raha Tha...Mood Nahi Tha...
Teacher:(Slap) Batamiz muh pe jawab deta hai?
Student: Kyu Sach ka Sabak sikhaye..
Jab sach sun bhi na paye...
Sach koi bole to tu Niyam Kanun bataye..
Tera dar,
Tera pyar,
Teri wah,
Tu hi Rakh,
Rakh Saali..
SADDA HAq AitHe RakH...
SADDA HAq AitHe RakH...
Ek ladki thi deewani si
.
.
.
facebook pe hi milti thi
.
.
.
Nazrain jhuka ke
.
.
.
Sharma ke
.
.
.
facebook mein jaane kya dekha karti thi!
.
.
.
Kuchh kehana tha shaayad usko
.
.
.
Par jaane kis se darti thi
.
.
.
Jab bhi online me milti thi mujhse
.
.
.
Yehi poochha karti thi
.
.
.
.
.
Yeh online kyun hota hai,
Yeh online kyun hota hai
.
.
.
.
.
.
aur main sirf yehi kahta tha
Jab hum kisi ko dil se yaad karte hai
aur woh humse dur hota hai, tab hum
online ho kar uske dil ke karib
aa sakte hai
BECHARA LADKA: LADKI PR HATH UTHAYE TO JALIM,
Ladki s pit jay to namard,
Ladki ko kisi k sath dekh lade to jelous,
Chup rhe to fattu,
Ghar s bahar qhe to aawara,
Ghar m rhe to nkara,
Bache ko dante to bujdil,
Na dante to laparwah,
Biwi ko nokri s roke to shaki mijaj,
Na roke to biwi ki kamai khane wala,
Akhir bechara ladka kare to kya kare.
Na aana is des mere munna
Kindly forwd 2 all boys n girls,
Bcoz MARD KO B DARD HOTA H
Teacher:3 Idiots Dekhnay ke Bad Ap ko kya Lesson Mila?Pappu:Miss Yehi ki Engineering Padh ke v Medical ki Ladki Fasai Ja Sakti Hai. Miss:Shut Up,Get Out. Bablu:Miss Mein Bataon? Miss:Batao Bablu:Miss College ke 1st Day Underwear Zaror Pehna Chahiye Miss:Get Out. Shamu:Miss Mein Bataon? Samu:Miss Doctor ke Elawa Engineer Bhi Delivery karva Sakta Hai Miss:Get Out. PAVAN:Miss Mein Bataon Miss:gud,bolo PAVAN:FRENCH KISS MEIN NAK BICH MEIN NHIAATI. & I can show demo. Miss:Class is OVER
Sad Story.
1 Aunty Thi Unki 1 Beti
Thi Wo Uski Boht Care Krti Thi,
Baal Sanwarti Thi, Poniyan Bandhti
Thi k Bachi Achi Dikhay.
Pr Bachi Ki Aankhain Hamesha
Bahir Rehti Theen Aise (0_0)
Aunty Ne Boht Docters Ko Dikhaya
Lekn Wo Sahi Nhi Hui.
Phr 1 Baba Ko Dikhaya To Wo 1
Mint Mai Sahi Ho Gai. Aunty Boht
khush B hui or heran B..
Phr Baba Se Pucha k Aap nay Aisa
Kya Kiya k Wo 1 dam Sahi Ho Gai…
Baba Ny Kaha: Main Ny Sirf Bachi
Ki Poniyan Dheeli Ki hn
Amazing Love Story:
A Kanjoos Boy Fell In Love
With Kanjoos Girl..
Girl: Jab Dad So Jyenge To Mai
Gali Me Sikka Fekungi,
Awaaz Sunke Tum Turant Andar Aa Jana.
Lekin Boy Sikka Fekne K 1
Ghante Baad Aaya.
Girl: Itni Der Kyo Laga Di?;->
Boy: Wo Mai Sikka Dhund Rha Tha.
Girl: Pagal Wo To "Dhaaga Baandh"
K Feka Tha,
Wapas Khich Liya..: