MUST READ:
Arre Hame to apno ne luta tha...
Gairo me kahan dum tha...
Meri haddi wahan tuti jaha
hospital band tha.
mujhe us ABULANCE Me dala
jiska petrol kum tha.
Mujhe RIKSHE Me isliye bithaya
kyu ki uska kiraya kam tha..
Mujhe doctron ne uthaya.
nurson me kaha dum tha..
Mujhe us bed pe litaya.
Jiske neeche BOMB Tha...
Mujhe bomb se udaaya,
goli me kaha dum tha..
Aur COLLEGE Me Dafnaya Kyuki
KABARISTAAN Me FUNCTION THA...
Lol...!:)
Zindgi k 5 sach....
Sach no 1:
" maa k siwa koi wafadar nhi..
Sach no. 2:
" gareeb ka koi dost nahi.
sach no. 3:
" log acchi seerat ko nahi achi surat
ko tarjeeh
dete hai.
Sach no 4:
" izzat sirf paise ki hai insaan ki
nahi.
Sach no 5:
" insaan jis shakhs ko dil se Chahta
ho wohi
shakhs dukh dard deta hai
Agree...???
Ek Kishan 1 Murga Leke Aaya.
Us Murge Ne Aate Hi 150 Murgiyo Ko Ch*d Diya.
Ye Dekh Kar Kishan Bahut Khush Hua.
Sham Tak Us Murge Ne Sari Batakho (Duck)
Or Baki Janwaro Ko B Ch*d Diya,
Ye Dekhkar Kishan Kuch Pareshan Hua.
Agle Din Jab Subah Hui To Murga Khet Me Mara Pda Tha
Or Upar Giddh Mandra Rhe The.
Use Dekhkar Kishan Bola,
"Mar Gaya Bh*sdi K,
Harkate B To Teri Aisi Thi"
Tabhi Murge Ne Ek Aankh Kholi Or Bola
"Chup Madarch*d Inme Se Ek Ko Niche To Aane De.
BECHARA LADKA: LADKI PR HATH UTHAYE TO JALIM,
Ladki s pit jay to namard,
Ladki ko kisi k sath dekh lade to jelous,
Chup rhe to fattu,
Ghar s bahar qhe to aawara,
Ghar m rhe to nkara,
Bache ko dante to bujdil,
Na dante to laparwah,
Biwi ko nokri s roke to shaki mijaj,
Na roke to biwi ki kamai khane wala,
Akhir bechara ladka kare to kya kare.
Na aana is des mere munna
Kindly forwd 2 all boys n girls,
Bcoz MARD KO B DARD HOTA H
Public Toilet Me Baithe Aadmi Ko
Sath Baithe Toilet Wale Ki Awaz Ayi
Kya Haal Hai Yar
Wo Ghabra Kar Bola Fine Thik Hu
Phir Awaz Ayi Kya Kr Rhe Ho
Usne Kaha Kuch Nai Tumhari Tarah Baitha Hua Hu
Phir Awaz Ayi Mai Abi Aa Jau Tumhare Pass Kya
Aadmi Ghabra Kar Na Na Na Mai Abi Busy Hu
Than Awaz Ayi Yar Mai Baad Me Call Krta Hu
Pta Nai Kaun Kamina
Dusre Toilet Se
Meri Har Baat Ka Jawab De Rha Hai...
Heart touching must read:)
Ek din ek ladke ki girlfrnd ka BIRTHDAY tha.
Boy was not in that city.
So, he ordered 24 RED ROSE for his girlfriend.
He called her up.
Dear maine tumhare liye utne ROSE ain jitni saal ki tum ho gyi ho.
While delivering florist thought: Ye aajka mera sabse achha customer hai.
Chalo ise 10 ROSE FREE me de deta hu.
So, he gave 34 instead of 24.
aur aaj tak ladka nahi samajh paya ki
uska BREAK-UP kyu hua..! :D
Ek Budhe Aadmi Ne Socha Ki Meri
Biwi Ko Shayad Sun Na Kam Ho
Gaya Hai
So Check Karne Ke Liye Ek Din Uske
Piche Gaya Aur Bola
Buddha:"Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun
RahiHo?"
Koi Jawab Nahi Aya,
Vo Thoda Sa Aur Aage Gaya Aur Fir
Bola
Buddha: "Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun
Rahi Ho?"
Is Bar Bhi Koi Jawab Nahi Aya,
Vo Bilkul Uske Kareeb Chala Gaya
Aur Bola
Buddha: "Janu, Kya Tum Mujhe Sun
Rahi Ho?"
Budhi Chillate Hue: “bhootni Ke, Ye
Teesri Baar Haan Bol
Pappu aur uske dost Ne do
Ghode khareede.
.
.
Baat Ye hui ki kaunsa Ghoda Kis
ka hai ?
.
Pappu : Main Apne Ghode ki
Dum kat deta hon! Ye
Nishani Hogi.
.
Subha dekha to Doosre Ghode ki
Dum bhi kisi Ne Kaat Di.
.
Pappu : aaj Main apne Ghode Ka
Kaan Kaat deta hun..
.
Agli subha doosre Ghode ka bhi
Kaan Kata hua tha. Dono bade pareshan ki
Ab Kya
Kiya Jaaye !
.
.
Bahut Soch vichar ke baad
Pappu bola:
.
.
.
.
.
Chal chhor yar Safed ghoda tera
Kala ghoda Mera.
Techer: Homework kyu nahi kiya?
Student: TV Dekh Raha Tha...Mood Nahi Tha...
Teacher:(Slap) Batamiz muh pe jawab deta hai?
Student: Kyu Sach ka Sabak sikhaye..
Jab sach sun bhi na paye...
Sach koi bole to tu Niyam Kanun bataye..
Tera dar,
Tera pyar,
Teri wah,
Tu hi Rakh,
Rakh Saali..
SADDA HAq AitHe RakH...
SADDA HAq AitHe RakH...
एक पिजंरे मेँ कुछ तोते एक तोती को छेँड रहेँ
थेँ........!
♥
जबकि दुसरे पिजंरेँ मेँ एक तोता पुजा और
दुसरा तोता नमाज पढ रहा था.............!
♥
मालिक ने सोचा"-
कितने नेक तोते है
इनके पिजंरे मेँ तोती आराम से रहेगी,
♥
उसने तोती को नेक तोतो के पिजंरे मे डाल
दिया,
जब तोती उस पिजंरे मे गयी,
♥
तो पुजा करने वाला तोता नमाज पढने वाले तोते
से बोला"-
♥
उठो खानसाहब दुआँ कबुल हो गयी,
अपनी आईटम आ गयी......$!!
1 ladki apne lvr se gift me ring lena chahti thi.
Magr ladke ne us ko"bhalu"gift diya
jis par ladki ko buhot gusa aya,
or us ne woh"bhalu" road pe phenk diya ladka woh"bhalu"uthane k liye road ki tarf bhaga mgr us ka car se acident ho gya
or woh wahin mar gya...
Ladki dekh kr chillayi or usne woh"bhalu"utha k apne seeny se laga kr zor se rone lagi.
Tabhi"bhalu"mai se awaz aai i love u ring inmy pocket
will u marry me? Trustin your love. dnt makd any demand in love&always respect ur
love.
Bacha:- Bhagwan Kare Teacher Ki
Zuban Cut Jaye. Roz Roz Dant Ti Hai.
Next Day Zuban Cut Gai..
Bacha :- Bhagwan Kare Master Ka
Hath Toot Jaye. Tang Krta Hai.
Bahut Marta Hai.
Next Day Hath Toot Jata Hai...
Bacha :- Bhagwan Mere Baap Ko
Utha Le.
Bahut Marte Hai.
Next Day Baap Ghar Aate Hain,
Bacha :- Papa Aapko Kuch Nahi Hua?
Baap :- Nahi Kyo
Bacha :- Maa Kahan Hain.?
Baap :- Pados Me Sharma Uncle Ki
Death Ho Gai Hai,
Wahan Gayi Hain.
Santa dabang dekh ker aaya,
School mei…
Sir: santa tumhare sare ans. galat hn,
marks de to kahan?
Santa: Kamal karte hai sirji, marks hi to mang rahe hai,chup chap de do warna thappad mar k b le sakte hai.
Sir: Badtamiz
kya bak rha hai?
Santa: Badtamiz se yaad aya sir, apke papa kaise hai?
Sir: nikal ja class se!
Santa: Chup chap se marks de do sir, warna ans sheet me itne chhed karunga, ki confuse ho jaoge ki marks kaha de aur zero kahan!!
Sad Story.
1 Aunty Thi Unki 1 Beti
Thi Wo Uski Boht Care Krti Thi,
Baal Sanwarti Thi, Poniyan Bandhti
Thi k Bachi Achi Dikhay.
Pr Bachi Ki Aankhain Hamesha
Bahir Rehti Theen Aise (0_0)
Aunty Ne Boht Docters Ko Dikhaya
Lekn Wo Sahi Nhi Hui.
Phr 1 Baba Ko Dikhaya To Wo 1
Mint Mai Sahi Ho Gai. Aunty Boht
khush B hui or heran B..
Phr Baba Se Pucha k Aap nay Aisa
Kya Kiya k Wo 1 dam Sahi Ho Gai…
Baba Ny Kaha: Main Ny Sirf Bachi
Ki Poniyan Dheeli Ki hn
Ek ladki apne boyfriend se park mein roz milne jati Wo roz time par pohonchti,
lekin ladka hamesha late aata Lekin ladki kabhi usse naraz nahi hoti,
Ek din ladki park mei nahi pohonchi,
Ladka gusse se uske ghar gaya Waha pata chala ki ladki ko blood cancer hai aur wo sirf 6 din jiyegi,
Ladka rote huye ghar aya aur sucide karne buildng ke 100th floor par gaya,
Aur ladki ke liye 1 letter chodda Usme likha tha..
Tum mera hamesha wait karti thi aur me roz
late ata tha lekin aaj main jaldi pohonch raha hu aur tumara wait karunga..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Theek ussi wakt Shaktimaan waha se ja raha tha
Kya Shaktimaan usse bacha payega..?
Janne k liye dekhte rahiye SHAKTIMAAN
Bacha:- Bhagwan kare teacher ki
zuban cut jaye. Roz roz dant ti hai.
Next day zuban cut gai..
Bacha :- Bhagwan kare master ka
hath toot jaye. Tang krta hai...
bahut marta hai.
Next day hath toot jata hai...
Bacha :- Bhagwan mere BAAP ko
utha le.
Bahut marte hai.
Next day baap ghar aate hain,
Bacha :- Papa Aapko kuch nahi
hua ??
.
Baap :- Nahi kyo
Bacha :- Maa kahan hain...??
Baap :- pados me SHARMA uncle ki
death ho gai hai, wahan Gayi
hain..
jo samajh gaya wo LiKE thok Do..:-
Phoolwala:"Sahab apni gf ke liye
phool
le lo..
.
Boy:"Meri gf nahi hai..
.
Phoolwala:"To mangetar ke liye le
lo.. .
Boy:"Meri mangetar nahi hai..
.
Phoolwala:"To biwi ke liye hi le lo..
.
Boy:" Meri biwi bhi nahi hai.. .
.
.
.
.
. Phoolwala:"Aye duniya ke khush
kismat insaan meri taraf se yephool
free me le le.