Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Motivational Quotes

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Mind Quotes

Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me; and they keep multiplying; but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Letting Go Quotes , Book Quotes

It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Luck Quotes , Target Quotes

If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Gratitude Quotes , Kindness Quotes

The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Joy Quotes

There isn't any way to libel the human race.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Way Quotes

I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Trust Quotes , Believe Quotes

You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rafting Quotes , Easy Quotes

There are two reasons why anybody buys anything. The real reason, and the reason they give you.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Two Quotes

If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Blessing Quotes

On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Joy Quotes

Sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get achance, because if you don't want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does, and a good deed ain't ever forgot. I never see papa when he didn't want the chicken himself, but that is what he used to say, anyway.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hypocrisy Quotes , Papa Quotes

Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Evil Quotes , Half Quotes

Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Women Quotes , Men Quotes

Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Decision Quotes , Bad Decision Quotes

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Knowledge Quotes , People Quotes

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Women Quotes , People Quotes

The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be?--it is the same the angels breathe.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Angel Quotes , Clouds Quotes