Mark Twain Quotes, Change Quotes, Loyalty Quotes

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Change Quotes , Loyalty Quotes

The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

When you got to the table you couldn't go right to eating, but you had to wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the victuals, though there warn't really anything the matter with them. That is, nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a barrel of odds and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the juice kind of swaps around, and the things go better.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Prayer Quotes , Odds Quotes

You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure--because he's got feathers on him, and don't belong to no church, perhaps;but otherwise he is just as much a human as you be. And I'll tell you for why. A jay's gifts and instincts, and feelings, and interests, cover the whole ground. A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bird Quotes , Feelings Quotes

It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when he came down to earth, he became the opposite... sweet, gentle merciful, forgiving. He was a thousand billion times crueler than ever he was in the Old Testament... Meek and gentle? By and by we will examine that popular sarcasm by the light of the hell which he invented.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sweet Quotes , Jealous Quotes

Sum all the gifts that man is endowed with, and we give our greatest share of admiration to his energy. And today, if I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to Energy and fall down and worship it!

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fall Quotes , Men Quotes

Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Giving Quotes , Furniture Quotes

I'm all for prosperity. It's change I object to.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Prosperity Quotes

Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Women Quotes , Men Quotes

Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Passion Quotes , Abstinence Quotes

When I'm playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales. I scratch my head with the lightning and purr myself to sleep with the thunder.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ocean Quotes , Creativity Quotes

There is not an acre of ground on the globe that is in possession of its rightful owner, or that has not been taken away from owner after owner, cycle afer cycle, by force and bloodshed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Taken Quotes , Acres Quotes

The secret of getting ahead is getting started

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Army Quotes

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There will never be a "perfect" time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Encouragement Quotes , Stress Quotes

Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Circumstances Quotes

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion--several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven....The higher animals have no religion. And we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter. I wonder why? It seems questionable taste.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Brother Quotes

Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Political Quotes