Mark Twain Quotes, Book Quotes, Taken Quotes

All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the "elect" have seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble to read it. I brought away a copy from Salt Lake. The book is a curiosity to me, it is such a pretentious affair, and yet so "slow," so sleepy; such an insipid mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was a miracle — keeping awake while he did it was, at any rate.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Taken Quotes

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

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Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Insanity Quotes , Insane Quotes

The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.

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The devil's aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despots dread of a newspaper that laughs.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Light Quotes , Water Quotes

By reading keep in a state of excited igorance, like a blind man in a house afire; flounder around, immensely but unintelligently interested; don't know how I got in and can't find the way out, but I'm having a booming time all to myself.Don't know what a Schelgesetzentwurf is, but I keep as excited over it and as worried about it as if it were my own child. I simply live on the Sch.; it is my daily bread. I wouldn't have the question settled for anything in the world.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Reading Quotes

Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Happiness Quotes

Our consciences take no notice of pain inflicted on others until it reaches a point where it gives pain to us.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Giving Quotes

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , 4th Of July Quotes

All religions issue bibles again Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Issues Quotes , Sides Quotes

Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.

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We have the best government that money can buy.

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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Ass Quotes

I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Achievement Quotes

Time spent with your children is time wisely spent.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Your Children Quotes

When an honest writer discovers an imposition it is his simple duty to strip it bare and hurl it down from its place of honor, no matter who suffers by it; any other course would render him unworthy of the public confidence.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Simple Quotes

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Family Quotes , Father Quotes

If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to prepare.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Two Quotes , Giving Quotes