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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.
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- In love, you pay as you leave.
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- One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.
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- Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
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- Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.
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- I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
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- Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.
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- a fully belly is little worth where the mind is starved.
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- There is only one expert who is qualified to examine the souls and the life of a people and make a valuable report - the native novelist. ... And when a thousand able novels have been written, there you have the soul of the people; and not anywhere else can these be had.
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- English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.
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- Experience, the only logic sure to convince a diseased imagination and restore it to rugged health.
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- An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words; it feels like music.
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- When you catch an adjective, kill it - perhaps the best possible advice for budding writers.
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- Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
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- Irrevence is another person's disrespect to your god; there isn't any word that tells what your disrespect to his god is.
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- But the people cannot have wells, and so they take rain-water. Neither can they conveniently have cellars or graves, the town being built upon "made ground"; so they do without both, and few of the living complain, and none of the others.
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- Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
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- I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
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- How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man while he sleeps!
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- I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.
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