Mark Twain Quotes, Animal Quotes, Men Quotes

It now seems plain to me that that theory ought to be vacated in favor of a new and truer one...the Descent of Man from the Higher Animals.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes

The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print

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I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Theatre Quotes , Stories Quotes

Difference between savage and civilized man: one is painted, the other gilded.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Differences Quotes

We were surprised how closely the cuckoo imitated the clock-and yet, of course, it could never have heard a clock.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bird Quotes , Cuckoos Quotes

There is no security in life, only opportunity.

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Never run after you own hat - others will be delighted to do it; why spoil their fun?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Fun Quotes

There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Math Quotes , Science Quotes

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Change Quotes , Loyalty Quotes

I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Cat Quotes

I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly; but their wives had grown old. These were good women; it is very wearing to be good.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Years Quotes

A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.

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George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Boys Quotes

The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.

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If you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, no doubt it would swim if you brought it to the Nile.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Swimming Quotes

Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Principles Quotes , Election Time Quotes

Enthusiasm is caught, not taught.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Leadership Quotes , Enthusiasm Quotes

Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent right. God is Might (and He is shifty, malicious, and uncertain).

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Might Quotes

The average man is what his environment and his superstitions have made him; and their function is to make him an ass. He can't add up three or four new circumstances together and perceive what they mean; it is beyond him. He is not capable of observing for himself; he has to get everything at second-hand. If what are miscalled the lower animals were as silly as man is, they would all perish from the earth in a year.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Silly Quotes , Mean Quotes