Mark Twain Quotes, Smoking Quotes, Cigar Quotes

I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Smoking Quotes , Cigar Quotes

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Long Quotes

Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employs a million.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Satan Quotes , Helpers Quotes

I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Sassy Quotes

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Giving Quotes , Furniture Quotes

There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Leadership Quotes

Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fear Quotes , Atheism Quotes

I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolute.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Revolution Quotes , Sides Quotes

I can't do no literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and looking around for a defendant.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Work Quotes , Writing Quotes

Always obey your parents - when they are present.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In statesmanship get formalities right, never mind about the moralities.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mind Quotes , Ethics And Morals Quotes

That which was hard to endure is sweet to remember.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sweet Quotes , Remember Quotes

The cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Breathing Quotes , Luck Quotes

Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Laughter Quotes

The best minds will tell you that when a man has begotten a child he is morally bound to tenderly care for it, protect it from hurt, shield it from disease, clothe it, feed it, bear with its waywardness, lay no hand upon it save in kindness and for its own good, and never in any case inflict upon it a wanton cruelty. God's treatment of his earthly children, every day and every night, is the exact opposite of all that, yet those best minds warmly justify these crimes, condone them, excuse them, and indignantly refuse to regard them as crimes at all, when he commits them.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Kindness Quotes

The difference between those that succeed and those that fail is, those that succeeded tried.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Differences Quotes , Succeed Quotes