George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Car Quotes, Telephones Quotes

The word morality, if we met it in the Bible, would surprise us as much as the word telephone or motor car.

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Opera is when a tenor and soprano want to make love, but are prevented from doing so by a baritone.

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For nearly twenty years I have been a published author... But I have never yet seen a book of mine offered for sale in a shop window.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Book Quotes , Years Quotes

NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A nap, my friend, is a brief period of sleep which overtakes superannuated persons when they endeavor to entertain unwelcome visitors or to listen to scientific lectures.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Naps Quotes

If I refuse to allow my leg to be amputated, its mortification and my death may prove that I was wrong; but if I let the leg go, nobody can ever prove that it would not have mortified had I been obstinate. Operation is therefore the safe side for the surgeon as well as the lucrative side.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Legs Quotes , May Quotes

No severity of punishment deters when detection is uncertain, as it always must be.

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Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

It seems as though every time you learn something new you have to give up something.

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Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy.

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The heart of an Irishman is nothing but his imagination

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That is the injustice of a woman's lot. A woman has to bring up her children; and that means to restrain them, to deny them things they want, to set them tasks, to punish them when they do wrong, to do all the unpleasant things. And then the father, who has nothing to do but pet them and spoil them, comes in when all her work is done and steals their affection from her.

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Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness.

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Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

What is any respectable girl brought up to do but to catch some rich man's fancy and get the benefit of his money by marrying him?--as if a marriage ceremony could make any difference in the right or wrong of the thing!

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Property is organized robbery.

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If Despotism failed only for want of a capable benevolent despot, what chance has Democracy, which requires a whole population of capable voters.

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Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Morning Quotes , Drinking Quotes

You know well I couldn't bear to live with a low common man after you two; and it's wicked and cruel of you to insult me by pretending I could.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Men Quotes , Two Quotes

There was only one virtue, pugnacity; only one vice, pacifism. That is an essential condition of war.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , War Quotes , Vices Quotes