Adam Carolla Quotes, Cat Quotes, People Quotes

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

My motto is "more mystery, less history".

6 years ago

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I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Emotional Quotes

People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Stupid Quotes , Successful Quotes

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes , Use Quotes

I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.

6 years ago

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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

6 years ago

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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Average Quotes , Delusional Quotes

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Television Quotes , Radio Quotes

A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Practice Quotes , People Quotes

Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Gay Quotes , Looks Quotes

It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.

6 years ago

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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Government Quotes , People Quotes

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Book Quotes , Comedian Quotes

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hate Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Basketball Quotes

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Names Quotes , Feelings Quotes

I get depressed at airports.

6 years ago

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