Adam Carolla Quotes, Christmas Quotes, Dad Quotes

When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Christmas Quotes , Dad Quotes

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smell Quotes , Judging Quotes

I get depressed at airports.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Ill Will Quotes , Office Quotes

I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Strong Quotes , Thinking Quotes

When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Radio Quotes , Express Yourself Quotes

California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Fall Quotes , School Quotes

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Horrible Jobs Quotes

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Views Quotes , Land Quotes

Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Average Quotes , Delusional Quotes

All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reading Quotes , Book Quotes

It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Morning Quotes , Water Quotes

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Passion Quotes , Office Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reason Why Quotes , Reason Quotes

It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Men Quotes , Rich Quotes

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

5 years ago

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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hate Quotes , Thinking Quotes

When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Should Have Quotes