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  • Adam Carolla Quotes   142
  • The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, "Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome."
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes
  • I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes
  • If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
  • My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Kind Quotes