Adam Carolla Quotes, Funny Quotes, Home Quotes

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

5 years ago

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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

5 years ago

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I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.

5 years ago

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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.

5 years ago

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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

5 years ago

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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

5 years ago

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I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.

5 years ago

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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

5 years ago

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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Morning Quotes , Water Quotes

I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.

5 years ago

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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

5 years ago

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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.

5 years ago

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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn't break it down piece by piece, stage by stage. The best gift you can give yourself is some drive--that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates. The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.

5 years ago

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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

5 years ago

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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

5 years ago

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It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.

5 years ago

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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

5 years ago

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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

5 years ago

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I know everything because I know nothing.

5 years ago

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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes