Adam Carolla Quotes, Mean Quotes, Successful Quotes

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes

California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Fall Quotes , School Quotes

I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Soccer Quotes , Coffee Quotes

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Basketball Quotes , Brother Quotes

I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.

5 years ago

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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Guy Quotes , Needs Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reason Why Quotes , Reason Quotes

I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Men Quotes

I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Audience Quotes

Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Gay Quotes , Looks Quotes

[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Government Quotes , People Quotes

Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Sex Quotes

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smell Quotes , Judging Quotes

Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn't break it down piece by piece, stage by stage. The best gift you can give yourself is some drive--that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates. The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Believe Quotes

I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Years Quotes , Age Quotes

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes

It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , July Quotes

Don’t do your best, do my best.

5 years ago

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