Al Franken Quotes, Dad Quotes, My Dad Quotes

My dad was a terrible businessman.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Dad Quotes , My Dad Quotes

No one is more sensitive to the issue of overeating than the creator of Stuart Smalley.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Issues Quotes , Sensitive Quotes

My dad always told me to stand up to bullies, and Bill O'Reilly is kind of a bully, and he's the kind of kid who hits other kids on the playground. And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, 'Teacher, sue him.'

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Running Quotes , Teacher Quotes

The nature of the Internet and the importance of net neutrality is that innovation can come from everyone.

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People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , People Quotes , Causes Quotes

Some of George W. Bush's friends say that Bush believes God called him to be president during these times of trial. But God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. 'That worked for everyone else,' God said.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Believe Quotes , College Quotes

During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in my case, military service was less important than completing my studies to prepare me for my chosen career: comedian.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Military Quotes , College Quotes

Well, I think that there's a value to comedy in and of itself.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Comedy Quotes

Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other.

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I'm the New York Jew who actually grew up in Minnesota.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , New York Quotes , Minnesota Quotes

The Minnesotans I talk to are really concerned about what the future holds for their families. They're trying to pay for health care and send their kids to college, they're worried about declining home values, they're scared for a loved one they have serving in Iraq.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Kids Quotes , Home Quotes

If Republicans eliminate Medicare, America will become a country in which you can never retire - and once you physically can no longer work, you are desperately poor until you die.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Country Quotes , America Quotes

To ask whether the mainstream media has a conservative or liberal bias is like asking whether al-Qaida uses too much oil in their hummus. It's - I think they might use too much oil in their hummus - but it's the wrong question.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Oil Quotes

I don't consider myself an artist necessarily, but craftsmen or people in the arts, their spiritualism is sort of when you're writing well or performing well or doing whatever you do well, there's an element of that that's either God-given, a talent that you're not necessarily responsible for.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Art Quotes , Writing Quotes

There's an appeal to the American sense of exceptionalism, that we're morally superior, as way to not be self-critical. I think that's a bit dangerous.

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Skepticism turns to cynicism, which leads to apathy and despair, which can cause sleeplessness, dry-mouth, and loss of sex drive?

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For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Years Quotes , Offensive Quotes

The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of limited powers - one that would protect Americans' liberty at all times - both in war, and in peace.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , War Quotes , Rights Quotes

National security laws must protect national security. But they must also protect the public trust and preserve the ability of an informed electorate to hold its government to account.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Trust Quotes , Law Quotes

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Firsts Quotes