Mark Twain Quotes, Science Quotes, Animal Quotes

I have been scientifically studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so-called,) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result profoundly humiliating to me. For it obliges me to renounce my allegiance to the Darwinian theory of the Ascent of Man from the Lower Animals; since it now seems plain to me that that theory ought to be vacated in favor of a new and truer one, this new and truer one to be named the Descent of Man from the Higher Animals.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Animal Quotes

Always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Honesty Quotes

He could charm an audience an hour on a stretch without ever getting rid of an idea.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Teaching Quotes , Ideas Quotes

Golden rule: Made of hard metal so it could stand severe wear, it not being known at that time that butter would answer.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Answers Quotes , Golden Quotes

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Patriotic Quotes , Fighting Quotes

No one has ever seen a Republican mass meeting that was devoid of the perception of the ludicrous.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Perception Quotes , Republican Quotes

A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Promise Quotes

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Friendship Quotes , Exercise Quotes

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Joy Quotes

All human rules are more or less idiotic.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Idiotic Quotes , Conventionality Quotes

Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might be proud to call his own - but I wish to sell out

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Wish Quotes

Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Average Quotes

Man is the only animal that deals in that atorcity of atrocities, War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Animal Quotes

Trial by jury is the palladium of our liberties. I do not know what a palladium is, but I am sure it is a good thing!

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liberty Quotes , Trials Quotes

I am not an economist. I am an honest man!

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Animal Quotes

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

I believe I have no prejudices whatsoever. All I need to know is that a man is a member of the human race. That's bad enough for me.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Men Quotes

We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mom Quotes , Baby Quotes