Mark Twain Quotes, Jealousy Quotes, Envy Quotes

Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Jealousy Quotes , Envy Quotes

If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , People Quotes

Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Famine Quotes

A reputable lawyer will advise you to keep out of the law, make the best of a foolish bargain, and not get caught again.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Foolish Quotes

God cures and the doctor sends the bill.

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God's noblest work. Man who found it out? Man.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Effort Quotes

As by the fires of experience, so by commission of crime you learn real morals. Commit all crimes, familiarize yourself with all sins, take them in rotation (there are only two or three thousand of them), stick to it, commit two or three every day, and by and by you will be proof against them. When you are through you will be proof against all sins and morally perfect. You will be vaccinated against every possible commission of them. This is the only way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Fire Quotes

The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Spiritual Quotes , Powerful Quotes

There's some human instinct which makes a man treasure what he is not to make any use of, because everybody does not possess it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Doe Quotes

That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Long Quotes

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Soulmate Quotes , Flower Quotes

None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness; but we can try.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Trying Quotes , Half Quotes

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

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They spell it da Vinci and pronounce it da Vinchy. Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

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Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Looks Quotes , Mouths Quotes

If ignorance is bliss, why isn't the world happier?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , World Quotes

India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Two Quotes

To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Angel Quotes , Men Quotes