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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
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- Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.
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- It is easier to manufacture seven facts out of whole cloth than one emotion.
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- In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
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- An honest politician is an oxymoron.
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- For a male person bric-a-brac hunting is about as robust a business as making doll-clothes.
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- Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense.
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- Christianity will doubtless still survive in the earth ten centuries hence- stuffed and in a museum.
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- Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.
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- It would not be possible for Noah to do in our day what he was permitted to do in his own ... The inspector would come and examine the Ark, and make all sorts of objections.
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- God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. ("In God we Trust") is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.
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- The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten
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- The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities
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- Ah, if he could only die temporarily!
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- Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
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- All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.
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- It is a mystery that is hidden from me by reason that the emergency requiring the fathoming of it hath not in my life-days occurred, and so, not having no need to know this thing, I abide barren of the knowledge.
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- I am dead to adverbs; they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference; it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all - they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me - and this adverb plague is one of them.
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- What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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- Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money off them.
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