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  • Mark Twain Quotes   2407
  • Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bible Quotes , Girl Quotes
  • God made all the animals in a single day; he could have swept them all away in the flood and re-created them in one day when they were again needed. Therefore it was an odd idea to save specimens of them for eleven months in the ark, whilst aware that eight persons could not feed or water them by any human possibility. If they were to be preserved by miracle, the ark was not necessary - to let them swim would have answered the purpose and been more indubitably miraculous.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Eight Quotes
  • Look at the mother of Washington! She raised a boy that could not tell a lie--could not tell a lie! But he never had any chance. It might have been different if he had belonged to the Washington Newspaper Correspondents' Club
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mother Quotes , Truth Quotes
  • ...the person that had took a bull by the tail once had learnt sixty or seventy times as much as a person that hadn't, and said a person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful. Chances are, he isn't likely to carry the cat that way again, either. But if he wants to, I say let him!
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Home Quotes , Cat Quotes