Mark Twain Quotes, Lying Quotes, Able Quotes

A historian who would convey the truth has got to lie. Often he must enlarge the truth by diameters, otherwise his reader would not be able to see it.

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The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Crafts Quotes

In the ancient city of London, on a certain autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty, who did not want him.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Autumn Quotes

When it comes down to pure ornamental cursing, the native American is gifted above the sons of men.

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Travel is lethal to prejudice.

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Everybody's private motto: It's better to be popular than right.

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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , People Quotes

Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sex Quotes , Men Quotes

I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.

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Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community, and I'll tell you what his opinions are.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Friends Quotes , Community Quotes

When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Heaven Quotes

If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and furnish him with his orders: Depart into the uttermost corners of the earth and, diligently do your appointed work. Persecute the sick child, settle upon its eyes, its face, its hands, and gnaw and pester and sting, worry and fret and madden the worn and tried mother who watches by the child and humbly prays for mercy and relief with the pathetic faith of the deceived and the unteachable.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mother Quotes , Children Quotes

There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.

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As I slowly grow wise I briskly grow cautious.

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He had an uncommon fondness for cats. As an old man summering in New Hampshire, Twain even rented kittens from a nearby farm to keep him company until he returned home. "If man could be crossed with the cat," said Twain, "it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes , Cat Quotes

Manifestly, dying is nothing to a really great and brave man.

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There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.

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All gods are better than their reputation.

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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Sassy Quotes

I am dead to adverbs; they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference; it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all - they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me - and this adverb plague is one of them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Giving Quotes