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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.
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- Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
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- That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.
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- It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.
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- We don't cut up when mad men are bred by the old legitimate regular stock religions, but we can't allow wildcat religions to indulge in such disastrous experiments.
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- If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.
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- I wonder if God created man because He was disappointed with the monkey.
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- We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking. And out of it we get an aggregation which we consider a boon. Its name is public opinion. It is held in reverence. Some think it the voice of God.
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- I told you this would happen. But, no, you had to go for the buffet, didn't you?
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- I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.
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- They did not know it was impossible so they did it
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- Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer him the position.
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- The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike; a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him.
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- Astonishing things can be done with the human memory if you will devote it faithfully to one particular line of business.
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- There's some human instinct which makes a man treasure what he is not to make any use of, because everybody does not possess it.
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- Persons who think there is no such thing as luck good or bad are entitled to their opinion, although I think they ought to be shot for it.
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- We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.
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- I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
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- Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it, and the frog generally dies as a result.
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- The Impartial Friend: Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all--the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.
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