Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There are no standards of taste in wine... Each man's own taste is the standard, and a majority vote cannot decide for him or in any slightest degree affect the supremacy of his own standard.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , Wine Quotes

Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Fragrance Quotes

The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Lying Quotes

Truth is such a precious article - let us all economize in its use.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Use Quotes

Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pirate Quotes , Sailing Quotes

I am living a new and exalted life of late. It steeps me in a sacred rapture to see a portrait develop and take soul under my hand. First, I throw off a study - just a mere study, a few apparently random lines - and to look at it you would hardly ever suspect who it was going to be; even I cannot tell, myself.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hands Quotes , Soul Quotes

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Thinking Quotes

It may be called the Master Passion, the hunger for self-approval.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Philosophical Quotes , Passion Quotes

...one should be gentle with the ignorant, for they are the chosen of God.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Ignorant Quotes

The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Church Quotes , Tails Quotes

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Confusing Quotes

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , School Quotes

there was no crime in unconscious plagiarism; that I committed it everyday, that he committed it everyday, that every man alive on earth who writes or speaks commits it every day and not merely once or twice but every time he open his mouth… there is nothing of our own in it except some slight change born of our temperament, character, environment, teachings and associations

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Teaching Quotes , Writing Quotes

Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , College Quotes , People Quotes

Your actions speak so much louder than words.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiring Quotes , One Day At A Time Quotes

After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; ... I should be sorry to have that voice fall silent and pass out of my life.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Fall Quotes

It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have been better for us-oh infinitely better for us-if the serpent had been forbidden

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Apples Quotes

If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the cannon is empty.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mouths Quotes , Reputation Quotes