Mark Twain Quotes, Religious Quotes, Educational Quotes

All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. The theological knowledge which they conceal cannot justly be regarded as less valuable than that which they reveal. That is, when a man is buying a basket of strawberries it can profit him to know that the bottom half of it is rotten.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Educational Quotes

Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Politics Quotes , Idiot Quotes

God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Winning Quotes , Knowing Quotes

It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Mind Quotes

There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.

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...the circumstances and the atmosphere always have so much to do in directing a conversation, especially a German conversation, which is only a kind of an insurrection, anyway.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atmosphere Quotes , Language Quotes

Being made merely in the image of God but not otherwise resembling him enough to be mistaken by anybody but a very near sighted person.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Differences Quotes

Now what I contend is that my body is my own, at least I have always so regarded it. If I do harm through my experimenting with it, it is I who suffer, not the state.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Suffering Quotes , Body Quotes

There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Glasses Quotes , Ideas Quotes

God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. ("In God we Trust") is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Dollars Quotes

It's easy to endure adversity -- if it happens to someone else.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Adversity Quotes , Easy Quotes

Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them; the man ran away and fell to raping and robbing and murdering everywhere, and Frankenstein was horrified and in despair, and said, I made him, without asking his consent, and it makes me responsible for every crime he commits. I am the criminal, he is innocent.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Blood Quotes

True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Disrespect Quotes

Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation; the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure; at least the pain is the biggest end of it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Revenge Quotes

Information appears to stew out of me naturally, like the precious otter of roses out of the otter.

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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.

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We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking. And out of it we get an aggregation which we consider a boon. Its name is public opinion. It is held in reverence. Some think it the voice of God.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Thinking Quotes

What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who changes. Since change is the law of his being, he cannot be consistent if he stick in a rut.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Change Quotes , Men Quotes

The laws of Nature, that is to say the laws of God, plainly made every human being a law unto himself, we must steadfastly refuse to obey those laws, and we must as steadfastly stand by the conventions which ignore them, since the statutes furnish us peace, fairly good government, and stability, and therefore are better for us than the laws of God, which would soon plunge us into confusion and disorder and anarchy if we should adopt them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Government Quotes , Law Quotes

There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what ridicule has brought him to. Instead of feeling complimented when we are called an ass, we are left in doubt.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Character Quotes , Animal Quotes