George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Baby Quotes

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous.

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The great secret, Eliza, is not having bad manners or good manners or any other particular sort of manners, but having the same manner for all human souls: in short, behaving as if you were in Heaven, where there are no thirdclass carriages, and one soul is as good as another.

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Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.

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If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.

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The degree of tolerance attainable at any moment depends on the strain under which society is maintaining its cohesion.

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Those who are looking for paradise on Earth should come and see Dubrovnik.

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I am a Christian. That obliges me to be a Communist.

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While we ourselves are the living graves of murdered animals, how can we expect any ideal living conditions on this earth?

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Reformers have the idea that change can be achieved by brute sanity.

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Instead of Otello being an Italian opera written in the style of Shakespeare, Othello is a play written by Shakespeare in the style of Italian opera.

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Nobody supposes that doctors are less virtuous than judges; but a judge whose salary and reputation depended on whether the verdict was for plaintiff or defendant, prosecutor or prisoner, would be as little trusted as a general in the pay of the enemy.

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People get tired of everything, and of nothing sooner than of what they most like.

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We should find ourselves committed to killing a great many people whom we now leave living, and to leave living a great many people whom we at present kill. We should have to get rid of all ideas about capital punishment.

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No sooner had Jesus knocked over the dragon of superstition than Paul boldly set it on its legs again in the name of Jesus.

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Stop being Jews and start being human beings.

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Love is an appetite which, like all other appetites, is destroyed for the moment by its gratification.

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Assasination on the scaffold is the worst form of assasination, because there it is invested with the approval of society.

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A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will.

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Nationalism must now be added to the refuse pile of superstitions. We are now citizens of the world, and the man who divides the race into elect Irishmen and reprobate foreign devils (especially Englishmen) had better live on the Blaskets where he can admire himself without disturbance.

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We cut the throat of a calf and hang it up by the heels to bleed to death so that our veal cutlet may be white; we nail geese to a board and cram them with food because we like the taste of liver disease; we tear birds to pieces to decorate our women's hats; we mutilate domestic animals for no reason at all except to follow an instinctively cruel fashion; and we connive at the most abominable tortures in the hope of discovering some magical cure for our own diseases by them.

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