Adam Ferrara Quotes, Funny Quotes, Lying Quotes

Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes

As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes

The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Rain Quotes , Home Quotes

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Dad Quotes , Car Quotes