Al Franken Quotes, Love Quotes, Mean Quotes

We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way. You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad. Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Love Quotes , Mean Quotes

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Motivational Quotes

It's not preppies, cause I'm a preppie myself. I just don't like homosexuals. If you ask me, they're all homosexuals in the Pudding. Hey, I was glad when that Pudding homosexual got killed in Philadelphia.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Philadelphia Quotes , Pudding Quotes

My dad never graduated high school. He was a printing salesman. We lived in a two-bedroom, one-bath house in St. Louis Park, Minnesota. We weren't rich - but we felt secure.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Dad Quotes , School Quotes

I just can't sit still and meditate; that doesn't kind of work for me. I don't even know exactly what it means.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Mean Quotes , Kind Quotes

Why don't we focus on what Afghan women can do? They can cook, bear children, and pray. As I recall, that was fine for our grandmothers.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Children Quotes , Grandmother Quotes

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Firsts Quotes

Minnesota has a proud tradition of having two Senators on the Ag committee - a tradition I'd like very much to continue.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Two Quotes , Minnesota Quotes

I think Hell exists on Earth. It's a psychological state, or it can be a physical state. People who have severe mental illness are in Hell. People who have lost a loved one are in Hell. I think there are all kinds of different hells. It's not a place you go to after you die.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Thinking Quotes , People Quotes

Technology is an incredible tool - it connects people to each other, creates jobs all over the world, and makes life easier for millions of Americans.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Technology Quotes

If 98 out of 100 doctors tell me I've got a problem, I should take their advice. And if those two other doctors get paid by Big Snack Food, like certain climate deniers get paid by Big Coal, I shouldn't take their advice.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Doctors Quotes , Snacks Quotes

The biases the media has are much bigger than conservative or liberal. They're about getting ratings, about making money, about doing stories that are easy to cover.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Money Quotes , Media Quotes

Part of the middle class promise is that, after a lifetime of hard work, you'll be able to retire and enjoy the fruits of that labor. Medicare was established to secure that promise.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Hard Work Quotes , Class Quotes

People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , People Quotes , Causes Quotes

There is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. - you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong, tend to be people who didn't take S.A.T.s, or first-time voters, or people with English as a second language.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Circles Quotes , People Quotes

I don’t know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can’t see it.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , New York Quotes , Block Quotes

I don't know what happens to you after you die. I'm not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Heaven Quotes , Banking Quotes

If someone hacks your password, you can change it - as many times as you want. You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Secret Quotes , Want Quotes

I think Clinton fatigue was a real thing. It's just hard to get comfortable with Gore - it was hard for him to project who he is, the person people know in private.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Real Quotes , Thinking Quotes

And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that's funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there's all kinds of advantages to it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Fun Quotes , Book Quotes